Product Review: Sterling Monarch Nipple Vice Clamps by XR Brands

November 25th, 2015 No comments

Screen Shot 2015-11-25 at 10.27.58 AMUse coupon code RAYNE at checkout at and receive 10% off your entire purchase!

Ooo, what’s that?

Come on, man1! You know that’s a set of clover clamps!

They’re the Sterling Monarch Nipple Vice Clamps from XR Brands, and can I just say that we’ve never in our lives owned such a sturdy pair of clamps?

How’s it made?

The clamps are made of metal and they’re each about 3.5 inches long and 1.5 inches wide. The chain that connects them is about 12 inches long, giving them an overall length of 19 inches. They’re stronger than most clamps and the protective pads are more grabby. But the best part is you can tuck them in a purse, or an overnight bag and none would be the wiser…except that nosy TSA agent who knows damn well it’s not a bomb. Read more…

Upworthy Sunday: The Warning Poem

November 22nd, 2015 No comments

Upworthy Sunday: Online Harassment

November 15th, 2015 No comments

found on

The Me I Used To Be

November 12th, 2015 2 comments

“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.”  ― Tupac ShakurSo one day, years ago, M and I are walking through Walmart, and I see this girl pushing a cart with a little girl who looks almost just like her standing in the back. It took me a minute, but I recognized the girl pushing the cart as Marcy1, a girl who used to babysit my kids and whose family took me and the babies in when our house burned down. Not one to ignore a person who did such a wonderful thing for me, I stopped to say hello.

When she recognized me, she stiffened, as if bracing herself for bullshit.

I was confused.

We hadn’t spoken in years. When M and I moved downstate, I pretty much stopped talking to everyone upstate. I mean, they were one of the deciding factors in our move. That town was (probably still is) toxic, and the people in it were always up to no good (myself included), and M and I wanted a clean break. Plus, M wasn’t particularly interested in having a bunch of people I’d slept with hanging around all the time, and I’d slept with most of my ‘friends’. Read more…

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Upworthy Sunday: Reading Mean Comments

November 8th, 2015 2 comments

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Even Miley Cyrus Couldn’t Save This Dream

November 5th, 2015 No comments

Last night, I had the worst dream ever. I dreamed that M left me.

I have no idea why. Why I dreamed that or why he left me in the dream. I mean, he was angry, but I don’t know what he was angry over.

Basically, what happened was…

Okay, look, I’m cheesy AF and it’s a cheesy dream, but here it is.

I was out somewhere with Miley Cyrus (this is obviously related to the fact that I spend most days that M isn’t playing music with my earbuds in and her new album playing), and when I got back, the house was destroyed. Like, my shit was strewn everywhere and the front door had been removed.

M was gone. The cats were gone because he’d taken the door off. Some of my stuff was gone.

While I’m trying to get my stuff together and take inventory, I find a something I wrote, and in red pen, M’s written all over it. I think it was supposed to be a response, but as is usually the case in dreams, I couldn’t actually read any of it.

So Miley calls M and asks him what the fuck, and while she’s yelling at M, my ex shows up. That ex. And M’s with him.

The ex comes up to me yelling and screaming (while Miley is yelling at M about letting the cats out…typical Miley) and he says, “M’s my boy. I’m not going to let you put him through what you put me through.”


I mean, I don’t claim to be innocent in that mess, but M and I have never, ever treated each other even remotely like my ex and I used to treat each other, so what the fuck, brain? Plus, M has hated my ex since the day they met, and that was before I told him about all the shit we did to other people and each other, and has more to do with how my ex acted toward M and his daughter than anything I told M.

Anyway…thanks for sticking up for my cats, Miley. Lol.