Masochism is gaining pleasure, sexual or otherwise, from having pain inflicted on your person. Masochism has many levels, some of which are unhealthy. However, sadism by itself is no longer considered a mental defect by the medical community, and was omitted from The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).
Masochism, as it pertains to BDSM, is the enjoyment of having pain inflicted on your body with your full knowledge and consent, and sometimes your direction. A masochist may enjoy physical or emotional pain, or both. They usually derive some sort of sexual gratification from the act, but they don’t always.
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Gandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.
I know you say there are no stupid questions, but I feel like this is a REALLY stupid question.
I’m the Dom, and I’ve been doing D/s with my wife (of several years) for several months now, and I always have the same problem.
I’m a sadist and I really love to work on her. I love bondage and humiliation and she gets off on both. The problem is that after I come, I turn into a peacenik; I just can’t bring myself to hit or hurt or command or demand. If my sub is in predicament when I come, I instinctively rip her out of it like I’m rescuing her from Snively Whiplash. It’s a real scene killer.
How do I keep the kink going post-orgasm? Writing it out like this makes it seem silly, but it really is starting to be an issue.
Actually, this is pretty common. For many (top or bottom), sadomasochistic fantasies are wholly driven by sexual desire. Once that sexual desire is fulfilled, many find they’re no longer interested, or are embarrassed or ashamed by their fantasies. Read more…
So we’ve got a new beef stew recipe. M says its way easier than the recipe he uses. It is pretty easy. And it only takes 3-4 hours as opposed to all day.
But most of all, it is 100% mine. As in, I made it up. I’m pretty proud of that. Mostly ’cause it’s delicious.
(I’m sure there are similar recipes out there. Most of the ingredients are typical stew ingredients.)
What you need:
1 pound beef – I have used stew beef and sirloin sandwich steaks. M uses chuck roast for his stew. Anything will work, really, as long as you cook it down enough.
1/8-1/4 c flour for dredging
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1/4 c butter
2 medium onions
3 cloves garlic
2 large carrots
1 quart beef stock
1 can Guinness – Any dark beer will work. Light beer will work, too, but the dark beer better enhances the beefiness. We prefer Guinness.
2-3 fresh bay leaves – can substitute dried
1 tbsp fresh thyme leaves – using dried may change the flavor
1 tbsp fresh parsley – using dried may change the flavor
10-15 red pepper flakes – I usually just gently shake the bottle a couple times
5-6 drops of Sriracha
1/2 tsp Worchestershire sauce
1 tbsp Gravy Master
1 medium sweet potato
2-3 medium red potatoes
veggies – optional. M likes green beans or sugar snap peas in his stew. Some people use corn. Use whatever you like, and eyeball the amount, or don’t use anything else.
Salt and pepper to taste
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