No Stupid (Kink) Questions: Episode 43 – Humiliation Techniques for Beginners

December 18th, 2014 No comments

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 43:

I’ve recently entered into a d/s relationship, and I’m looking for some good humiliation techniques for beginners.

So this one’s a little difficult because when it comes to emotional sadomasochism (which, in a sense, is what humiliation play is), it’s hard to know what’s going to trigger a reaction we don’t want unless one or both of the people involved are experienced in humiliation play. This is just one of the many reasons that open, honest communication is so important in kink. Read more…

I want…

December 16th, 2014 4 comments

There’s this idea that consensual slaves don’t have wants or needs. Or, at the very least, if they do, they should just shut the fuck up about them. Because they’re the bottom, right? Slaves have given up their rights, and therefore, they’ve also given up their wants and needs.

But that’s just not how it works.

First of all, slaves are human. I don’t know any humans who are able to just check their brains and hearts at the door on a whim. Not even for someone they love.

Oh, they may be able to put them off for a while, but in the end, they eventually have to scratch those itches, or they’ll begin to resent the reason they can’t.

But besides that, this is consensual slavery. Say it with me now. Con-sen-su-al. That means the whole entire reason the slave is a slave is because it scratches an itch for them. It’s something they want.

I feel like with that statement I could mic drop and walk away, but the “slaves have wants” diatribe isn’t even why I came here. It’s just something that’s been on my mind as I’ve watched an old friend be very open with her readers about her relationship troubles, and read the smattering of absolutely disgusting responses mixed in with the well wishes and heartfelt advice, and it so nicely coincided with the real reason I want to write that I figured I’d shoehorn it in and use the real reason to make my point. Read more…

Categories: rayne Tags: , ,

Upworthy Sunday: The List of Rules for Women

December 14th, 2014 No comments

No Stupid (Kink) Questions: Episode 42 – I need more.

December 12th, 2014 No comments

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 42:

I’ve been married for thirty years, give or take a few. You hear all these stereotypes about how men are insanely sexual creatures, some even needing multiple partners to sate their appetites, but my husband is just not. In the past ten years, we’ve had sex twice, and I initiated both times. We’ve talked about it till we’re blue in the face, and nothing’s ever changed. Masturbation’s just not fun anymore. I really long for the touch of another. And since reading your site, I’ve realized I’m really turned on by some of the things you get up to. But I think I’m more of a switch. I’m so confused, and kinda resentful, and I’ve got no idea where to go from here. I’ve begun to look elsewhere, and I’m wondering…should I be talking to my husband about this? Halp!

Uhm…yeah?

I’m not trying to be a dick, here, but if you’re in a relationship in which one person believes the relationship is monogamous, and you’re considering seeking attention elsewhere, the first person who knows that should always be your partner. No matter what. You owe him that much. Read more…

Book Review: The End In All Beginnings by John F. D. Taff

December 11th, 2014 No comments

51DbccRXT+LOoo, what’s that?

So a while back, M read a really good book with a few tiny quirks, and the author asked his readers for criticism.

I don’t think you’re understanding the magnitude of my statement, here. In an era where authors are accusing critical reviewers of bullying, the author asked for criticism. So M responded. The author was grateful! And the rest, as they say, is history.

Then this book came out, and it got way more press than I think anyone was expecting, and then we all realized it was totally worth it. Totally. So I planned to review it, and then M said I had to review it because John’s having a contest, and the winner will be written into his next story.

I could die happy as a character in one of John’s books. ~nods~

Anywho…my review: Read more…

Categories: Books Tags: , ,

My day begins and ends with kisses.

December 8th, 2014 No comments

Quick (or not) note: We’re having trouble with the front page. M’s too busy to deal with it right now, so I’m trying to figure it out on my own, with a little help from the Twitterverse (namely, DomSigns, owner of Molly from Molly’s Daily Kiss, because he rocks), so to say that until I finally asked for help I was getting nowhere but frustrated would be an understatement. I really need to get back to learning how to do all that shit on my own, so I can just do it, rather than always asking someone for help. Add it to the list of Things Rayne Should Have Done A Long, LONG Time Ago. Since there seems to be no support for our theme, and it looks like the WordPress update broke it for some people, this means we may end up with a new one. Awesome, right? In any case, please subscribe to RSS or watch my Twitter for the #NewPost tag for updates for now. Thanks! I think I figured it out all by myself! It’s working again, anyway. Yay!

It’s a beautiful thing.

In the morning, we wake up. One of us rolls over to the other one, and kisses them. Sometimes, just a few light pecks on the lips. Sometimes teeny kisses on shoulder blades that feel like fairy wings. Sometimes long, teasing kisses up and down a back or side.

It’s hard to choose a favorite. Even when M grabs my hair and turns my face up so he can own my lips with his, it’s so sweet I want to melt. Read more…

Categories: rayne Tags: , ,