I am almost entirely dependent on my owner.
This used to be a problem for me.
I came into this relationship a “tough girl from the streets”. The only way to win an argument was to demolish your opponent. The only way to stay alive was to fight dirty. And the only way to survive it all mentally was to be an island.
An island sustains itself.
An island has food and water. It has animals and plant life. It has parasites and insects. It keeps itself and its inhabitants alive all by itself with a little help from Mother Earth. And that’s who I had learned to be.
One of the most important parts of my training has surrounded my dependence. Master enjoys being the bread winner. He likes having a wife and slave to come home to at night. He adores being able to come home, put His feet up and watch some TV or read while I scurry about tending to His needs or cuddle up beside Him doing the same thing.
Master doesn’t think slaves should have jobs unless it’s absolutely necessary to sustain the household. He believes they should be completely dependent on their owner for all their basic needs, and especially for the not so basic ones. He feels they should look to their owner for any and all emotional fulfillment, unless they are in a poly relationship. In short, I should look to Him for everything.
That doesn’t mean I have to ask permission before doing all things, or that I can’t make decisions on my own. It’s more that I had better be damn sure I ask for what I do need permission for and keep in mind what would please Him when I’m faced with a choice.
Master spent a lot of time making me depending on Him for even a box of tampons “okay” for me. It’s still sometimes too embarrassing, and I’ll go without before asking for something. Not something quite as important as feminine products, though.
But even as He fosters dependence in most everything, He tries to teach me independence in my responsibilities. Like, for example, running His household. He expects me to be proactive about the food and paper products and keep up on the house cleaning without needing prompting from Him. Though I do need permission to go shopping, I should be keeping Him informed of when we need to go and how much we need to spend.
To be honest, I’m not sure whether it’s a positive or negative thing. I think that we’re in constant communication about the house and our life together because of this forced dependency is a good thing. Society, however, would say that it’s unhealthy. It works for us, though, even when I feel stifled.