Tomorrow I’ll be writing a proper post about how care and love feature in our relationship… I couldn’t think of a decent title for this and I’ll be touching on it so yeah… prologue!

I just spent a few days with DK, his primary (M) and his third. Most of the three days was filled with bad pain and negative emotion.

A little bit of background… I have a few health issues but I’m totally defensive about them.  When DK told me to keep him informed about a hospital test I was going to have… I quite literally told him to fuck off and mind his own business. On Monday afternoon, DK “pointed out” to me  that this was not an appropriate response. I ended up pouring out months of fear, loneliness, terror, illness, pain and my own mortality out of my eyes into his shoulder.

Seriously… I absolutely sobbed.

There has been a lot of conversation between us recently about how despite the fact that he doesn’t love me and won’t love me… He still cares about me. That’s been difficult for me to come to terms with.

I think I’m currently experiencing emotional subdrop since I need to talk to him and I’m choosing not to call him because yeah.. He’s got others to look after and I’m bottom of the food chain. They’re far more fun, they need a lot less care at the moment since I’m still in immense pain, very tired and very very weepy. Talking to me will just pull him away from the fun lively girls who he can play with…

I’m all kinds of fun today!

via hellovagina

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e[lust] #3

Editor’s Pick

• Eros and Isis Leo by Domina Doll

Their line of sensual adult toys are made from 100% silicone and are exquisite objects d’art. With names like Lancelot, Cleo and Leo the Lion, their inspiration lies in mythical eroticism and fervent fantasies. Each erotic object is disguised as a fine art collectable and resemble antiqued silver, jade or gold chess pieces or figurines.

Note: Every once in a while a toy comes along that simply takes my breath away, and I just can’t resist making it EP for the week, and this was one of those. There are tons of other amazing reviews this week, though too, it was difficult to choose!

Editrix
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

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