But… I thought… – On National Coming Out Day
From the sheer numbers of congratulatory comments I’ve seen on Twitter, and the articles themselves, I’m probably, once again, making myself some enemies. And honestly, I’m not even sure how to put this without coming across extremely offensive. But here goes nothing.
Today’s National Coming Out Day. I wasn’t going to make a big deal out of it. I support equal rights for gay people, and fully support a person’s right to be open about their sexuality. Of course I do. I’m bisexual, occasionally polyamorous, and have chosen to be a sex slave. I love having the right to be who I am, and would give just about anything for everyone to be, at the very least, tolerant, if not accepting. And I realize that coming out is huge for those who haven’t always been comfortable doing so. But pretty much all of my friends are out. I’m not sure I have many at all whose families don’t know their sexual orientation. And I didn’t think it was necessary to begin a circle jerk of pats on the back for something we’ve already done, but others find just the consideration abhorrent, much less the actual act.
I like to think it’s gotten easier. But I’ve been out to my peers and friends for a long time, so I honestly couldn’t say.
This is gonna sound… intolerant. But there’s really no way around it.
National Coming Out Day has always been about telling (I always hate when people use “admitting”. It sounds like some dark secret, or something one must apologize for when referred to that way.) the people you know that you’re not heterosexual. That’s what it means to come out of the closet. To embrace your sexual persuasion, and acknowledge it to yourself and those around you.
I was reading Lilly’s post, today, about National Coming Out Day, and until I saw the tweets, I was kind of confused. Now I’m just sort of… “Uh… what?”
While I commend anyone’s efforts to embrace who they are, I’m not sure comparing showing one’s face, and giving one’s real name on the internet to the issues so many face in being open about not being heterosexual or cisgender is the way to do it.
I hear you. “So what you’re saying is National Coming Out Day is only for people who are less than straight? It’s not for sluts, and kinksters, and polyamorous people to stand up and say ‘I am what I am.’? It’s just for those of you who aren’t straight or cisgender?”
And well… The answer is yes. That’s exactly what I’m saying. By it’s very definition (which you can find in Lilly’s post, or the Wikipedia articles I linked), today is not for sluts, and kinksters, and polyamorous people to “come out”. And yes. I realize that since I fall under all of those categories, I’m saying that today is not in celebration of me coming out about those things.
But why draw the line? I mean, those are various types of sexuality, too!
Thing is, they’re different issues entirely. They’re looked at completely differently. And they all get different reactions.
I’m not saying that coming out about those things is any less of a big deal. I’m just saying they’re different. And hell, let’s give them their own days. Their own time to shine.
I dunno. Maybe I’m wrong.
Edited: I can’t believe I used “admitting” after saying how it makes me feel. Heh.