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NS(K)Q: Q38 – 24/7? Really?

October 30th, 2014

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 38:

I hear about this 24/7 slave thing a lot, and then I heard you wear the 24/7 slave label, so I figured I’d ask. I mean, there’s no such thing as a 24/7 scene, right? You can’t really be in bondage 24/7, can you? This is just another one of those “yeah, 24/7, winky face” things, right?

This is something I get asked a lot. And you’re right. It’s virtually impossible to remain tied up 24/7 and be comfortable.

People do it. Bless their insane little hearts. Just not me.

Generally, as you suspected, when you hear “24/7 slavery,” the person speaking is not talking about a 24/7 bondage/impact play scene. There is a limit to what the human body can handle (which varies person to person based on health, stamina, pain tolerance, etc.), and a 24/7 scene would eventually push that limit. The ultimate goal, here, is pleasure and happiness, not injury or death. So most of us do what we can to work within “safer” boundaries, and make an effort to not push our bodies too far.

We used to have a d-ring screwed to the underneath of our loveseat, and M would lock a heavy chain to the d-ring and my ankle and keep me chained up all day, only letting me out to serve him or use the restroom. There are some slaves who spend the time they’re not serving their owners in some way (housework, sex, quality time, etc.) caged, or bound. There are some bottoms who are into extreme bondage, and participate in bondage scenes in which they are tied up, or otherwise bound, for days at a time.

And then there’s the 24/7 pleasure slave, who does not spend all their time physically bound, but might as well have a virtual tether stretching from the steel collar locked round their neck to the waistband of their owner’s pants.

This is where I am on the spectrum, right now. No joke. The only place M and I don’t go together is the bathroom1…and even that only extends to when M’s using the restroom, or I’m pooping. He regularly pops his head in, or stands in the doorway and stares at me while I pee.

“Gotta remind my bitch that I own everything every once in a while,” he says. “But you can keep your poop.”

Gee…thanks.

When you’re in a 24/7 relationship, claiming the 24/7 slavery label, it’s not about physical bondage. The 24/7 label mainly just means that there’s no “time out” on your dynamic.

So, for example, if I’m in the middle of pooping, and M changes his mind about staying out of that part of my life, I have no choice but to sit there and poop while he watches.

M is completely grossed out by poop, so this will never happen. Thank fucking god. But just the fucking one.

In our 24/7 dynamic, this means I’m his slave all day, every day, no matter what, and he controls everything, from whether or not I can work, to when I can eat, to how I wear my hair, to what body modifications I can and cannot have.

Sometimes this drives me crazy. Like when I remember that I REALLY want a motorcycle (he hates motorcycles), or think about the fact that he nixed a tattoo tribute to Eminem’s genius (that I really want to get) that says “Life’s too short to not go for broke!”

Other times, it makes me incredibly grateful. Like when his company fucks up payday for the 1091983923746897636548726378th time, and we’re flat broke, and I don’t have to be the one to figure out how we’re surviving a full day on $10 when there’s no cat food and very little people food (at least we have toilet paper!) in the house.

I made angry pancakes this morning. Which are made just like these pancakes, just angrier. They came out fluffier than normal. I think it was the anger. (It’s entirely possible it was my new baby, but I like the anger theory.)

Not all 24/7 relationships work this way. For some, the 24/7 simply means that they stick to their roles (whether that’s dom/sub, top/bottom, master/slave) all day, every day, no matter what. Others use it to mean that they live together. And I’m sure there are other meanings for other couples. None of us can ever agree on the “true” meaning of kink terms, which is just one thing that makes kink so interesting.

1. …and meetings with customers or onsite calls, but those happen so infrequently they almost don’t count.

  1. October 30th, 2014 at 12:56 | #1

    I love reading the NSKQ posts!

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