So the other day, we were laying in bed, and M turned to me and said, “What’s today?”

I told Him the date and He said, “Fuck.  I think I’m wrong about payday.  When’s the thirtieth?”

“Well, if today is the 26th, then the 30th is Wednesday… Shit!… not Tuesday.”

“Well, we’ve got everything we need to get us through, we’re just broke.”

Nothing new.  We’re always broke by payday.  No matter how hard we try to save, spend less, do less fun stuff (Which, let me tell you, I’m about done not having fun cause we’re broke.  I’d rather let the bills we just got caught up slip a little, and skip a meal or two, than continue to sit in this house doing nothing.  If that’s “wrong” or “irresponsible”, I just don’t give a fuck.  I’m going fucking mad inside these four walls.), we’re still flat broke and living on change by payday.  But we almost always have little odds and ends laying around the house that I can throw together in a tasty, if not elegant, meal.  Read more…

Someone I met recently on Twitter asked me for my scrambled omelet recipe.  That’s what I’m calling it, anyway.  A scrambled omelet.

I sort of stole the idea from this breakfast product we found on the freezer aisle once.  A sort of “Skillet Sensations” for breakfast, if you will.  It had all the makings of an awesome breakfast.  Potatoes, peppers, onions, sausage… All you had to add was eggs.  And of course we added cheese.

Since the first time we bought it, I’ve been making various impostors.  They always come out really delicious.

This is the version I made this morning.  I used leftover home  fries, but I’ll include my home fries recipe.  And the amounts are all estimated.  I start small and work up to the flavor I’m looking for.

2 tablespoons EVOO
2 tablespoons butter or margarine
5 medium potatoes
1 medium onion
4 cloves garlic
1/2 teaspoon dried rosemary
1/4 teaspoon paprika
dash of cayenne pepper
salt and pepper to taste
6-8 large eggs, beaten
1/4 – 1/2 cup pepper jack cheese, grated or thinly diced
4-6 fresh Roma tomatoes, diced

Heat the EVOO in a deep skillet that has a cover, then cut it with the butter.  While the EVOO is heating, clean the potatoes and slice them into rounds.  I never peel them, but you can if you like.

You can cut the onion and garlic however you like.  I half the onion, top to bottom, then cut it into thin half-circles, side to side, and I slice the garlic into long, thin strips.

If you’re using dried rosemary, be sure to grind it some first.  I just do it between the palms of my hands.  If you’re using fresh, chop it some.  You may need more.  You may need less.  I don’t pay the slightest bit of attention when I’m adding it, I’m afraid.  It’s one of those things… You know how much you like, but not really how much other people like, ya know?

Once the oil’s heated and the butter’s melted, layer your potatoes, onion and seasoning.  Start with the potatoes and put as many as you feel necessary. I usually do about 1 1/2 layers of potatoes, so the whole bottom’s covered, then onion, garlic and seasoning, then more potatoes, then more onion garlic and seasoning, until I run out of potatoes.  Then I top it off with onion, garlic and seasoning and cover the pan.

How long it takes depends on how thick you cut your potatoes.

If you want them crispy and pretty, you’re going to want to cut them pretty thin and flip them in sections.  They’ll take 10-15 minutes.

If you’re like me, and like it when they’re just stiff enough to not fall completely apart, but mushy enough that they break apart easily, slice your taters about 1/4 inch thick and don’t just flip them.  Sort of stir them in chunks every 5 minutes or so.  These will take 20-30 minutes.

Now comes the fun part.  Toss in your beaten eggs and stir till they’re cooked all the way.  Shouldn’t be too long.  Five minutes tops.  You can melt your cheese into the eggs while they’re still wet and cooking, or you can wait till they’ve finished scrambling.

Toss in anything your heart desires.  Ham, bacon, sausage, peppers, tomatoes… This morning it was tomatoes.  And I waited until everything was done cooking, then let it cook a little more.  Just until the tomatoes were tender.

It was delicious.

This recipe is far from finished.  It’s really good as is, but we’ve decided to continue fiddling with it until we get it just right.  In the meantime, here’s how we did it this time around:

1 Tablespoon butter, melted
1 Small onion, chopped
1/4 Cup melted butter
1/4 Cup flour
2 Cups half-and-half
2 Cups chicken stock or bouillon
1/2 Pound frozen broccoli
1 Cup carrots, julienned
Salt and pepper to taste
1/4 Teaspoon nutmeg
3 Cups grated extra sharp cheddar

Saute onion and set aside.

Make your roux in a medium saucepan over medium heat.  Do this by whisking together a quarter cup melted butter and quarter cup flour, and cooking 3-5 minutes.  Stir constantly and add half and half slowly.  Slowly whisk in the chicken broth.  Let simmer twenty minutes.

Here, I chopped my veggies and put them in the slow cooker, including the onion.  Then I poured the roux over the vegetables and left it to cook for about six hours.  Next, I added salt and pepper, put it in the blender in batches and blended it.  I left the carrots a bit chunky. Then I mixed in the cheese and nutmeg.

Next time, I’ll probably puree the carrots completely.  I’ll add a bit more broccoli after blending and leave it to cook until the broccoli is tender.  I like my broccoli soup to have broccoli chunks.  And I’ll probably use sharp cheddar instead of extra sharp.  Extra sharp seemed a bit too much.

Roux Versions:

White Roux: The color of roux almost remains white, used to thicken white sauces, prepared by cooking the roux at a low temperature so as to remove only the raw taste of starch. The cooking should be stopped when roux has a chalk like and frothy texture. High temperature and long duration of cooking should be avoided as it will result into coloring and overcooking.

Blonde or Pale Roux: Blonde roux is made when it is cooked for a slightly longer time so as to achieve a pale color, used for thickening sauces based on white stocks like fish veloute.

Brown Roux: When roux is cooked till it has a light brown color and a roasted nutty aroma, cooking should be done at low temperature and for longer time so that even cooking and better flavor can be developed. Brown is used for making espagnole sauce or sauces made with brown stocks.

Courtesy of Paresh Sauces… The verbiage seems familiar and it is likely that he copied the text from a cookbook.

I dunno about you, but I love cream cheese.  On stuff.  In stuff.  By itself.  Cream cheese is so incredibly yummy.

The only thing better than cream cheese? Flavored cream cheese.  Especially veggie cream cheese.  But the chunks in Philadelphia are too small and Dunkin Donuts uses light and Breuggers is way too expensive.

So what does Rayne do?  Why, I made my own! And it’s really simple so I don’t want to hear any grumbling!

2 boxes Philadelphia Cream Cheese (8oz. each)
1/3 Red pepper
1/3 Green pepper
1/2 Carrot
1/2 Green onion (chive, scallion.. whatever you wanna call it)
Garlic salt to taste

Let the Philly soften.  Lots of people will tell you to toss it in the blender, but it’s really not necessary.  Just let it sit on the counter for a little while.  Not long.  Just till it’s soft to the touch and easy to work with.

I don’t have a food processor, so I finely diced everything, tossed the cheese, veggies and garlic salt in a mixing bowl (I made sure to use one with a lid so I could just pop the top on and stick it in the fridge.) and stirred.

You could probably chop the veggies in a food processor no problem.  And if you’re really not interested in mixing, use a hand mixer with a paddle on it instead of those spinny things that look like they could take off a finger if they’re going fast enough.  That way, you don’t puree your veggies.

You can serve right away, but for the best flavor, let it sit in the fridge a couple hours (overnight is best) first.

You don’t have to use Philadelphia Cream Cheese, but believe me when I say it’s well worth the price.  Philly is, without a doubt, cheesier than any generic brand I’ve tried.

Have everything but the green onion? Chop up about a quarter of a white, yellow or red onion instead.  And the different colored peppers are more for show than flavor, though red peppers tend to taste slightly different.

I’ve seen recipes with radishes and leeks in them, too.  I’m not so hot on radishes and I’ve never had leeks, so I promptly ignored them.  But if you try it, let me know!

Maybe ten years ago or so, when I was playing house with my coke dealer and his children, I spent a lot of time in Rutland and Fair Haven, Vermont.  They’re tiny towns, when compared to places like Schenectady, Rutland being only slightly larger than Fair Haven, but there’s exponentially more for adults to do there than in Whitehall, New York, which is where I lived at the time.

There were two restaurants that we frequented.  One was a restaurant called The Fair Haven Inn that was owned by a Greek family who’s black sheep I was best friends (almost lovers) with, and the other was a decently sized diner called Rutland Diner that was owned by a different Greek family that I had no ties to.  Both served their own version of spanakopita, or spinach pie, and I was instantly hooked.

What’s completely bizarre about this is, before I tried spanakopita, I refused to let spinach anywhere near my mouth.  Long story short, when I was about six, my father made me eat an entire can of PopEye Spinach (You remember the brand, I’m sure).  I vomited directly after finishing the can and never ate spinach again.

Until the first time my dealer and I sat down in Rutland Diner.

Their version of spanakopita was complimentary with any meal and was more pie-like.  They made it in sheets instead of triangles.  They served it hot or cold and I didn’t know it could be served hot until I had it at The Fair Haven Inn.

Shortly after Master tried spanakopita for the first time and liked it (I took Him to Rutland Diner shortly after we met.), I went on a mad dash for a recipe.  Unfortunately, these are much cheaper to buy from the store than to make from scratch.  Between the phyllo and feta, this recipe tends to be a little pricey.  But for us, the extra $5 or so is worth it.  Making them from scratch means we can make them taste exactly how we like them.  Store bought spanakopita tends to be a little bland.  Master likes His tangy.  Read more…

M and I were sitting in the living room chatting about dinner yesterday when I whined, “Man, I wish we had cheese.  I’d stuff the boobs with veggies and cheese.”

He kinda looked at me for a moment, pondering.

We keep frozen mixed veggies and frozen green beans in the house now.  This is a strange thing for us cause a) we rarely used to eat vegetables, and b) when we did, they were usually canned.  I don’t remember exactly what changed that.  Maybe it was the bags of Steamfresh veggies you can buy at Wally World, now.  I mean, who can turn down perfectly cooked vegetables – with little to no preservatives, might I add – after five minutes in the microwave for $1.50? Talk about time saver!

But since we started shopping at the meat market, we took it a step further.  We buy large bags of multipurpose mixed veggies and green beans (which, consequently, are not in the mixed veggies) and I prepare them however strikes my fancy.

“How ’bout putting some garlic and onion in with the veggies? That might be good.”

“Ooo maybe!” I exclaimed as I bounded over to my computer to find a recipe.  As usual, I wasn’t looking for something set in stone.  Just something to start me off.  And this is how it ended up.  It was delicious, might I add.  Read more…

Our paycheck on the thirtieth sucks ass.  It’s not less than our paycheck on the fifteenth.  It just feels like it because we have to pay rent out of the paycheck on the thirtieth.  So from about the fourth till the fifteenth, I’m scrounging through the cupboards trying to make a nice meal out of rice, jumbo pasta shells and canned kidney beans.

And that drives me crazy.  I lose sleep over it.  This man goes through hell and high water to make ends meet.  I should at least be able to cook Him a nice meal when He gets home.

Never mind that I’m not the bread winner and I have no control over when we go shopping or what we buy.  If we don’t have the right kind of food to make Him something He’s really going to like, I’m freaking out until we do.

This morning, we have three eggs, no bread and all the stores are closed.  So how do I make Him breakfast??!?

I love cornbread pancakes.  So that was my first suggestion.  Scrambled eggs fills Him up… for maybe an hour.  And then I’d have to give Him all three and find something for myself to eat.  But we have a box of cornbread mix that I could totally turn into pancakes.

Naturally, He said okay at first and then steadily began changing His mind.  He has trouble trying new things, sometimes, because of how He was raised.  So the more time He has to imagine what it’s going to taste like, the less He likes the idea of trying it.  And I had to wash a skillet before I could make pancakes.

I decided to do a load of plates and silver, too, and instantly realized my mistake.  But by then, it was too late.  Before I finished half the plates, He had already completely talked Himself out of trying cornbread pancakes.  Read more…

This isn’t my recipe.  I repeat! You know, just in case Kraft comes by here and wants to flip out cause I’m posting it.  This isn’t my recipe.  You can find the original, by Kraft, here.

And Kraft? If you are here and hoping to flip out cause I’m posting it? What’re you doing on a kink site?

I mentioned this recipe yesterday.  Said if it was good, I would share.  It wasn’t just good.  It was phenomenal.  I am including my changes, as usual.

1 Package Philadelphia Cream Cheese, softened (8oz)
1 Package Oscar Mayer Deli Fresh Oven Roasted Chicken Breast Cuts (6oz)
1/2 Cup hot pepper sauce for Buffalo wings (Frank’s Red Hot is our favorite.)
1/4 Cup KRAFT Natural Blue Cheese Crumbles
1/4 Cup sliced green onions

Spread cream cheese onto bottom of microwaveable 9-inch pie plate. Mix chicken and sauce; spoon over cream cheese. Sprinkle with blue cheese and onions.

Microwave on HIGH 2 min.or until heated through.

Serve warm with celery sticks and Wheat Thins Original Crackers.

I used about 10oz of  this chicken instead.  It was cheaper and I wasn’t sure I liked the idea of slices over chunks.

I didn’t measure the hot sauce.  I chopped up the chicken and put it in a bowl, then tossed in hot sauce until the chicken was completely coated and there was a little extra in the bottom of the bowl.

I ended up using closer to half a cup of blue cheese and Wally World only carries Treasure Cave.  Check out their nifty site! Pretty snazzy, I think.

For the green onions, I just diced two and used all but about a tablespoon of them.

And instead of Wheat Thins, we used Triscuits.  Cracked Pepper Triscuits, actually.  Good stuff.

I don’t stuff my chicken nearly enough.  Matter of fact, I rarely ever bake chicken anymore.  Somehow, I got convinced that I never have anything to go in my chicken boobs.

The other day, I decided to pop over to Domestic Servitude to see if I couldn’t find some ingenious recipe one of those girls came up with from odds and ends around the house cause I was sick to death of fried or grilled chicken.  I mean, there’s only so many ways to change the flavor of fried or grilled chicken.  I think I’ve tried all of them.

I found this mix up Danae offered and then this one from Kaya and was all, “OMG, Rayne.  You’re a fucking kick ass cook with no creativity whatsoever.  Get your ass in gear, chica.”  and stuffed my nose in the fridge.  When I backed out of the fridge, I was carrying American cheese, ham, onions and garlic.

I don’t pound my boobs.  I don’t really see the point.  Pockets work just as well.  I just make sure to get really huge boobs, trim them and cut a pocket into them.

According to M, my mistake was not sauteing the onions and garlic first.  I liked it that way.  But what do I know? He’s the boss.  Lol.

I used 4 slices of ham and two slices of cheese for each boob.  I layered it two ham, two cheese, two ham.  Then I julienned (I realize it’s an adjective but damn it! It should be a verb!) an onion and minced some garlic and arranged it on top of the last layer of ham.  And finally! I rolled it up and stuffed it in the pocket.  No toothpicks necessary!

Throw a bit of S&P on the outside and voila! Stuffed chicken boobs.

I used Kaya’s 400F for 30 minutes method cause it was already 7:30 when I figured out what to make.  I probably could have taken them out a minute or two earlier, but they came out fantabulous.

However! If you can avoid it, I’d suggest not using American cheese.  We had $10 to our name and one more day of bus fare before payday so American cheese was our only option.  I’d suggest a more substantial cheese like cheddar, mozz or provolone.  The American cheese pretty much disintegrated.  The flavor was awesome! There just wasn’t any cheese left.

This staying up till midnight and getting up at the buttcrack of dawn thing? Yeah, it’s for the birds.  But M and I made one hell of a lasagna.  So that’s pretty cool.

We crawled out of bed around 2pm yesterday.  We’d been up the entire night before fucking in the new day, as we so often do on the weekend.  This weekend was a 2-fer, as my dad used to call them.  Two nights in one weekend.  A spoiled slut I am.

By the time we’d both shit, showered and shaved it was nearing four.  And we still had to carry our asses to WalMart.

Twenty minutes for dispatch to answer the phone.  Twenty minutes for the cab to show up.  Ten minutes to actually get where we were going.  Fifty-five minutes later, we were ten miles up the road and shopping for our supper.

We had a very specific list, but we never stick to them.  Ever.  While so many swear by list shopping, I suck at it.  I was going to give it an actual try using the store’s layout and everything but… they changed the store around completely (No lie.  As in, new flooring and everything.  The pet department is now in infants right next to the bread and chips which used to be next to frozen foods.  Weirdos.) and I forgot to make my snazzy new menu.

What? How much can a girl be expected to remember when she’s still floating in subspace from two nights of vigorous, violent, AMAZING sex?

So we just… mounded the cart.  I mean, we did have a tentative list and got everything on it.  But we certainly got a lot of shit not on it, too.  And, oddly enough, we didn’t spend anywhere near what we thought we did.  But that’s cause I is are be smart.  With everything Master touched, I’d say, “Do we have to have name brand? Is it okay if we buy generic? It’s $X.XX cheaper.”

WalMart’s cheating, though.  They’re changing all their packaging to look so cheap you think you’re getting the best bargain around.

We got home around 6:30.  The lasagna (cause I also had to put all those groceries away which required cleaning out the cabinet and fridge) wasn’t finished until 9:30ish.  And then, we each took a bite and came right there.  This is, hands down, the best lasagna I’ve ever tasted.  Better, even, than Macaroni Grill, Olive Garden and Cheesecake Factory combined.  Seriously.  I actually feared for M’s sanity at tasting food this good.   Read more…