Click to enlarge.

I keep playing it back over and over in my head.  But I’m missing huge pieces.  The only thing I remember is the moment we had.

Our moment.  It was amazing.  And I find myself at a loss for words when trying to describe it.

I know how hokey and sappy that sounds.  Believe me, I was shocked to see myself in this position, as well.  And I learned more about myself in a few minutes than I’ve known my whole life.

It started as it always does.  Master ordered me to find toys to play with.  Things to put in my pussy.  And it wasn’t long before I told Him that I wasn’t really interested in playing with my pussy.  That I wanted Him to beat me.  To mark me like He had a few weeks ago.

I expected a few cane strokes, harder than I can usually stand, on my breasts.  Nothing major.  Quick and painful.  So when He, instead, made me kneel in front of Him on the floor and hold them up for Him, and rained down a number of painful blows across the tops and the nipples, I was caught completely off guard.  I stayed mostly in place for Him, flinching and whimpering but not really trying to get away.

He told me to kiss His legs.  And it wasn’t long before I was pulling His socks off, on my own, and crouching down to kiss His feet.  That’s when He began beating my ass and back.  And when I switched to His other foot, He whipped the entire length of the right side of my back for… god, it seemed like forever.

I buck.  I fight.  I try to crawl away.  But with the slightest twitch of my body, Master would say, “Don’t move.”  And I would be still.

When He finished with the first set on the right side of my back, I immediately began kissing and licking His foot again.  I clung to His leg as if it were the only thing tethering me to this world.  And I worshiped the man who was beating me.  And then He started again.

I don’t know how many separate times Master went over that side of my back.  There don’t appear to be any bruises, but the brush of my sweater over the welts is rather painful.

I don’t know if He stopped because He was done or because I was.  But when He stopped, I pressed the side of my face in the crook between His foot and His ankle and just trembled, there, on the floor, holding on for dear life.

“Heel.”

And I looked up at Him timidly, not sure of what He wanted from me.  I kneeled up and put my hands on His knees, my eyes searching His for approval.  And when He reached for me, I dove into His arms, wrapped both of mine around Him, buried my head in His chest and just sobbed.  This huge barrage of emotion overwhelmed me.  This feeling of relief and pride in myself and happiness and love.

He held me so gently.  He rocked me back and forth, and kissed my head and shoulders and lips.  He ran His hands gently over the welts, soothing them.  And He just held me.  Until I stopped crying.  Until I started talking again.  And then for awhile after that.

Master told me I was very good.  That He was extremely proud of me.  That I tried harder, last night, to be still and be good and just take what He wanted to give me than I have in ages.  And I was so happy.

Master told me He loved me.  And He showed me with how tenderly He brought me back to the real world.  And for once, He didn’t have to bring me back to Him.  I never left Him.  All there was, was Him.

Thank you, Master.  I love you more than words can say.

<3
~pig whore

So this is where we started:

Click photos to enlarge!

The semi-circle on my boob is where I branded myself with the bells a while back.  And I was right! My right boob is bigger than my left boob.  And yeah… I still hate my body.  But the other night, I walked by a picture of me and said, “I’m not half bad, huh?” And I guess I’m not if you like chicks who look like me.  Or at least dirty whores.

Then He flogged me, according to the sequence of photos.  I still don’t remember. Read more…

Before I start this, I want to… I don’t know.  Babble more, I guess.  I was completely and utterly gone five minutes into this scene.  As in, I’ve only been this far gone on mind-altering substances.  As in, I was completely sober when we started playing but, when He let me down, I felt like I’d just taken a triple dose of Ecstasy (MDMA).  That claim is not an exaggeration and I have experience on which to base it.

My Twitter friends (the ones who were on) didn’t seem all that surprised.  I don’t remember ever reacting that way to a scene before.  I mean, a marijuana high, maybe.  Floaty and spacey and such.  But this was, without a doubt, exactly like the peak of a triple dose of Ecstasy.  My vision was crazy, my body tense and I was trembling like a leaf.  I loved it.

He took a lot of pictures but He hasn’t really edited much.  And He made a playlist specifically for the scene that He’s going to email me.  As soon as the photos are edited and I have the list, I’ll be sure they go up.

I don’t remember much.  What I do remember is jumbled.  And I’m a little on the droppy side.  So if this makes sense at all I’m thanking… somebody.

Oh… And just a forewarning to my friends who “absolutely have to have aftercare”? I’m not trying to be mean, but it would probably be in your best interests not to whine to me about going without anymore.  Ever.

Cin had just barely shown up online so I could teach her a few things she needs to know how to do, when Master ordered me off to the shower.  I had no idea what was going on.  I don’t know if I was supposed to or what.  So I got huffy and stomped into the bathroom.

When I got out, Master got in and when He got out, He said, “Get every toy you own and lay them out on the couch neatly.”

“Ooo! You should take a picture of them all so I can post it!” I squealed and He gave me one of His amused, Oh, Rayne. looks.  “What? You… should.”  I faltered.

I watched as He began setting things up.  His tripod came out.  The camera.  A blanket went up for a solid background rather than His desk and bookshelf.

“Go stand in the doorway.  I need to see if I can do anything about the lighting.”

And that’s when it happened.  A knot the size of Texas formed in the pit of my stomach as I realized it had finally come.  The day I’d been begging for.  He was going to play with me like He used to.  Read more…

I washed up and climbed in bed with Him when I could finally move again after cumming.  I’m not sure how long we were asleep or if He even fell asleep.  I was watching cop cars watch me in my dreams.

Suddenly, a fist in my hair yanked my head off the pillow and a voice thick with lust barked, “Get over here, cunt.” as He dragged my mouth to His cock.  Half-asleep, I sucked and licked and gobbled His cock as best I could.

He didn’t really fuck my mouth like He usually does.  Mostly, He just held my hair tightly in His hand and laid there.

And then He asked me if I wanted Him in my pussy.  Do women really say no to that question? If so, I’ll take yours, please and thanks.  They can come over here with M and me and we’ll have a right jolly old time.  Two holes filled is ever so better than one.  And three is over the moon.

I mean, I imagine.  The only way I’ve ever had two or three holes filled at once is with toys and M’s cock.  Which is definitely over the moon.

He came in my cunt and we washed up and went back to sleep.

Or… I did.  He apparently laid there and got horny.  Again.  Without even touching me.

I was snoring peacefully when again my face was lifted off the pillow by a fist in my hair.

“Turn your face this way, bitch.”

So I did.  And He came all over my face and in my hair.  Just like that.

“Go wash your face.”

My face? What about my HAIR?!

I tugged my cum-soaked hair into a ponytail, not even bothering to try to wash it out.  I knew that just washing that one section wouldn’t cut it for me, and if I even started fucking with it in the sink, I’d be begging to get in the shower in a matter of minutes.  And He’d say no cause He only had a couple hours to sleep before He had to start working.  And He’d revel in the fact that not only did He say no, but He had a reason for making me sleep with cum in my hair so I couldn’t really argue.

Easier to just snatch my cum-soaked hair into a ponytail than go through all that.

Not to mention He’d already gloated about me having to sleep with cum in my hair.

And told me more than once before my head finally hit the pillow again how He wished I had been facing Him so He didn’t have to wake me.  So I would wake up with some schmutz on my face and not know what it was.

Neither time was there any stimulation to my bits.  If one excludes the fact that being used as a sex toy is ridiculously hot for me.  And when He was finished, He just shoved me to the side.

That’s some major play on a girl’s psyche. 

Wait, what? You totally just came on my face and in my hair and I didn’t even get to see you jerk off? Wtf?

I was a little surprised.  And a lot turned on.  And even more humbled and humiliated.  Which was the point.

Why is it that when I know all these domination techniques – Have studied them, even! – He is still able to get to me? I dunno the answer to that.  All I know is, I hope it never changes.  I like that He’s able to get to me.

I don’t know how much I’m willing to give you today.  I’m going to try to write about Tuesday night, but there’s a lot that I’m not ready to share.

I’m half expecting M to read this and order me to tell you the rest.  True to form, I’m pretending He wouldn’t do that.  Honestly, if He thinks it’s good for me, or He could have fun with it, He would.  But we’ll just keep pretending He wouldn’t, kay?

We went to bed around midnight, or so? We hadn’t done much of anything but sit on the couch for hours and talk about random shit and then watch a little television.  We crawled into bed and it took me all of ten minutes to fall asleep.  M was still awake.

“You’re falling asleep already, bitch?” He growled and I turned to blink at Him in the darkness.

“Yes, Master.  I’m exhausted. ”

“So you don’t want to get up to get beat?”

Again, I blinked at Him.  “Well, I mean, if it would please you, Master.”

“Get your ass in the living room, slut.  Don’t forget your collar and cuffs.”

I was sort of… stunned.  But I did as I was told.  I’ve long since forgotten the order of things.  So I’ll just talk about them as I think of them.

For a long time, He had me sat on the floor with my wrists locked together and my fingers in my pussy.  Just rubbing and touching my clit and lips.  Nothing major.  But eventually I got frustrated and asked Him to unlock them.  It’s really awkward playing with clamps with your wrists locked together and it was time for me to start playing with clamps.

I asked Him to put the tail in my ass, and He tried, but it was too much right off the bat, so we ended up waiting.  That was really embarrassing.  I had hoped a little lube was all we’d need for that toy, and, once upon a time, when He used to plug my ass regularly, that might have been true.  But apparently, that’s not true anymore.  My butt needs warm-up.  So, a few minutes after He tried the tail, I started trying to talk Him into one of our smaller toys.

He said, “Do you want your ass plugged?”

I started rambling something about wanting something in my ass, but being afraid it would hurt and, all firm, making it clear He wanted a yes or no, He said, “I will plug your ass with the smaller one if you want me to.  Do you want me to plug your ass?”  Read more…

Yesterday:

Today was ridiculously hot.  Ridiculously.  And from what I understand, it’s not over yet.  Cause Master has a raging hard-on that just won’t quit.  And I’m going to try to offer you more than the bird’s eye view of what went on.  More than my viewers got as it was happening.

What happened?

Master set up the webcam this morning and sent me off to the shower.  Once I’d air-dried enough, He told me to kneel in front of the camera and put on my collar and cuffs.  He was specific.

“Kneel with your legs spread and put your collar and cuffs on.”

He’d already told me I wouldn’t know who was watching or when.  That freaked me out, enough.  I’ve never knowingly been put in that position.

“That freaked me out.”  I say that a lot.  It’s not a fair description.  Cause it could mean so many different things.

I was nervous.  Embarrassed.  Worried about my naked body being on display for strangers.  A still is one thing.  But a live feed of all my jiggly bits bouncing all around? ~shudder~

It wasn’t long before Master was on Twitter announcing that He’d be allowing people to watch me do dirty things to myself.  And MasterKKT and Cin leaped at the opportunity as well as a couple others.

Freaked out? Yeah, that’s an understatement.  Cause Master had already mentioned making me plug my ass in front of the webcam.  And not even the normal plug.  The tail.  Which is all sorts of ouchy when I put it in myself and all sorts of embarrassing no matter who does it.

He made me clamp my nipples with the very same bell clamps I used to brand my tits while kneeling before the webcam with my legs spread.  And then, when He’d decided my nipples deserved a break, He sent me to the cam to take them off.  Oh… and to demonstrate how the cuffs I wear are lockable for Cin.  Read more…