Ooo, what’s that?

It’s the Cloud 9 by California Exotics, and it’s just as chunky as it looks. I literally giggled as I inserted it, excitedly pulled it out and hugged it, then batted my baby-blues up at M and breathed, “It’s so chunky.”

What’d it come in?

It came in a soft pink cardboard box with a picture of the toy on the front and what the toy does on the back.

How’s it made?

The Cloud 9 is six inches of lavender plastic, all told, with an insertable length of four and one-half inches long. At its widest point, it’s one and three-quarters inches and it has a circumference of five and three-quarters inches. But would you look at all those bulges? It feels much chunkier than it looks. Waterproof. And it’s heavy for such a short vibrator.

The surface is smooth and nonporous. It’s phthalates and latex free. Hypoallergenic. And made of a food-grade material.

The very tip top is long and sort of sloped downward. It’s got five little nubs, each about a quarter inch in diameter and about half an inch apart, running along the surface. Then it narrows and then bulges out again, finally narrowing to the dial control.

There’s only one vibration setting that increases with the turn of the dial. And I found it pretty strong, yet quiet.

What’s it for?

G-spot stimulation, obviously, but it can be used for clitoral and erogenous stimulation as well. I’m not sure I’d suggest anal insertion, but the vibrations might feel nice around the anus.

How is it?

Rayne’s Rating:
Pros:	Cons:
chunky amazing curves	only splashproof

I’m kind of biased. What do I mean?

Well, you see, here’s the thing. This toy, with the vibrations somewhere between low and medium, and the help of M’s thrusting, gave me my first ever (and so far only) g-spot orgasm without clitoral stimulation. But he still says the g-spot doesn’t exist. Ba-dum-bum.

I love this toy. Period. End of sentence.

It bulges in all the right places. It’s great for textured clitoral and vaginal stimulation. It’s got all the drag Velvet Cote has to offer. And the vibrations are almost perfect. It’s definitely my new favorite g-spot vibe.

How do you care for it?

Wash it with antibacterial soap or wipe it down with isopropyl alcohol. Use toy wipes or toy cleaner. Make sure the washer’s in place and the battery cap is on tight when you take it in the shower. DO NOT submerge this toy or it will become a dildo. Take the batteries out when you’re storing it and just toss it in the drawer. And use water or silicone based lube.

Where’d ya get it?

Babeland sent me Cloud 9 free of charge in exchange for an honest review. Babeland is a bicoastal, women-friendly adult store. Their mission is “to promote and celebrate sexual vitality by providing an honest, open and fun environment. Encouraging personal empowerment, community education, and support for a more passionate world are key.” Rachel Venning and Claire Cavanah, Babeland’s founders, wrote “Sex Toys 101″, teaching people the ins and outs of choosing and using sex toys, in 2003.

Ooo, what’s that?

Isn’t he adorable? That is the Santa Duckie Ornament from Big Teaze Toys’s I Rub My Duckie line.

What’d it come in?

As you can see, Santa Duckie comes in a clear plastic ornament box decorated with silver snowflakes.  The back wall is blue and the floor is, too.

They really don’t want that little guy rattling around in there, though.  He’s tied up and taped and tacky glued to the molded plastic mount inside the box.

How’s it made?

The globe is plastic from top to bottom.  The front half is clear with little white snowflakes and “I Rub My Duckie” printed on the outside.  The back is solid blue.  The two pieces are held together by a gray plastic screw-on cap that looks a lot like the cap that holds the hook on a Christmas ornament.  The top is adorned with a red and gold bow and a piece of gold string to hold a hook or a tree branch.

Be careful you don’t pull the bow off.  It’s not glued in place or anything.  It’s just tied around the string.

There’s a white oval disc of plastic with a dip in it that fits into a slot in the back half of the globe.  This is where Santa Duckie rests when he’s not in use.

And finally, there’s Santa Duckie, who is three and one-quarter inches by three inches of PVC.  The back of the box tells us that Santa Duckie is latex, phthalate and heavy metal free.  Which is awesome.  Cause I’d be kinda scared if an 80s hair band popped out.  Ba-dum-bum-chish

He’s wearing a painted-on adorably innocent expression, with those big blue eyes and orange beak, and a red Santa suit, complete with cap and thick black belt.  Flip him over and you’ll find the battery compartment, which is openable with a spoon, a coin or an acrylic nail (my fingernails are way too fragile).  And there’s an on/off switch that controls Santa Duckie’s single-speed vibrator.

What’s it for?

For me, Santa Duckie isn’t much more than a novelty.  An adorable addition to my Christmas ornament collection.

For others, however, he can be used for clitoral and erogenous stimulation.  He makes a great stocking stuffer.  Or if you’re in the habit of hanging gifts on the tree (M and I do that sometimes.), Santa Duckie is designed for that.

How is it?

Santa Duckie isn’t the most powerful toy.  He’s not overly loud but M could hear him a few feet away.

I wasn’t particularly fond of the shape or size of him in use.

And I totally should have kept all the twist ties and such that tied Santa Duckie to his little white platform.  Cause now he flops around inside the globe.

But! I absolutely love how he’s gonna look on my tree.  When we finally put it up.  Cause we’re borrowing one of A’s (a buddy of ours) fake ones, this year.

He’s great for a Secret Santa or Pollyanna Gift Exchange.  Makes a great stocking stuffer.

I’m considering sending one to my mother as an introduction to sex toys.  I figure if she can figure Santa Duckie out, she should have no trouble with a traditional vibe.

How do you care for it?

Wash him down with warm water and antibacterial soap.  Store him on your tree in his Christmas globe around the holidays, or in a drawer when Christmas is over.  While the turn-style controller can’t turn itself on, you might want to take the battery out when it’s not in use.  Especially if you’re only taking him out around the holidays.

Where’d ya get it?

Babeland sent me Santa Duckie free of charge in exchange for an honest review.  Babeland is a bicoastal, women-friendly adult store.  Their mission is “to promote and celebrate sexual vitality by providing an honest, open and fun environment.  Encouraging personal empowerment, community education, and support for a more passionate world are key.”  Rachel Venning and Claire Cavanah, Babeland’s founders, wrote “Sex Toys 101″, teaching people the ins and outs of choosing and using sex toys, in 2003.

Head on over and check them out.  With their discreet shipping and classy shopping experience, I promise you won’t regret it.

Dear Babeland,

All I want for Christmas is the Cry Baby.

I really, really want this sex toy because M has been totally lusting after a toy like this forever.  He’s just dying to take me out for the day with one of these tucked up against my pink parts so He can turn it on while I’m talking to someone.  Doesn’t that sound embarrassing? But he’s been so patient in His waiting which brings me to:

M’s especially deserving of this sexy toy because He’s been incredibly nice, lately! He lets little old me pick out any toys I want when we have a little extra dough to spend even though I have a habit of getting into mischief.  And then, when they arrive, He lets me use them to get myself off in as many wicked and dirty ways as my little mind can dream up.  If that’s not incredibly nice, I don’t know what is.

I know… I know… I’m supposed to ask for something I want.  But with an opportunity like this, I’d feel remiss if I didn’t think of my man.  If you must send me something I want, I’ve been lusting after the Form 6 for a while.  You could send me that.  I wouldn’t mind.

Yours truly,

Rayne

Want a chance to win $1000 worth of toys from Babeland’s delicious Objects of Desire line? Head on over to Babeland Toys, check out the details and get your letter out to Sex Toy Santa by December 24th, 2009.  Do it! Form 6 is on that list!

<3 -

~Rayne

We’re growing ever more addicted to massage oils and massages.  Between the scents we’ve tried and watching M visibly relax into the mattress, it’s become something I adore even as my hands begin to ache with the effort.  So when Babeland Toys offered the Babeland Body Essentials Kit in Pleasure for review, I ignored all the other options.  We are, after all, still on the hunt for the perfect massage oil.

I was a ball of excitement when the UPS guy finally dropped it off.  And then I left it sitting on the dresser for… a week? At least.

When I opened Pleasure’s clear blue plastic case, I got a little worried.  Her Lickable Oil and BabeLicious are both Mojito Peppermint.  M isn’t much of a mint fan.

A proper mojito, for those not in the know, is made with lime juice, mint leaves, pure cane sugar, good rum and a dash of soda water.  They’re often garnished with a piece of sugar cane and a sprig of mint leaves.  They go down easy, quench your thirst and give you a warm, comfy buzz, without leaving you feeling icky in the morning.  And they happen to be my favorite drink to relax with.

I bucked up my courage and decided to ease M into Pleasure.  She has four other products to offer (Massage Oil, Massage Oil Spray, Massage Bar, Massage Candle), and they’re all Himalayan White Tea.  Well… Except the massage candle.  Its scent is called “Pashmina”, which is a wool made in Kashmir.  It certainly doesn’t smell like any wool I’ve ever smelled, but it does smell amazingly good.

I didn’t tell Him I was going to give Him a massage.  I just unwrapped the massage bar and began to rub His shoulders.  He giggled and shrugged me away.  Definitely gotta remember to take the paper all the way off, next time.

Massage bars are an amazing invention, let me tell you.  Because they soften upon contact with body heat, there’s no fuss, no dribbles, no drips.  No mess except the barely-there residue they leave behind, which makes them great for travel or a quick pick-me-up before a meeting.  It releases a seductive aroma I can only describe as vanilla and the slightest hint of mojito as it begins to warm up.  It doesn’t stain cloth or wood.  And besides that, you can use the shape to add pressure and texture to the massage.  Read more…

Our first riding crop is about twenty-two inches long.  The handle is rubber and the shaft is metal.  And the tip is two pieces of weak leather glued and sewn to the end.  It was one of those “This really sucks but we can’t afford the alternative.” buys.

And at first, we loved it! But eventually it began to fall apart, and the leather weakened even more.  Before too long, the tip of the metal shaft, which is ridiculously sharp and poky, started to come through the leather and began leaving cuts in my skin.

So when Babeland Toys offered me the Kookie Riding Crop I was ecstatic.  I mean, look at it! It looks hella better than the one we bought from one of the local sleaze joints we call “adult bookstores”.  And, even though I love crops, I had begun to hate the one we had.

The Kookie Riding Crop is eighteen inches of leather and nylon.  The handle is a rubbery material which prevents slipping.  The shaft is weaved nylon – which definitely beats metal in impact play! – and the tip is leather.  The tip is three and one half inches long and one and three quarters inches at its widest point.  It’s all one piece folded over and sewn to the tip.  Tightly wrapped around the bottom of the leather is nylon thread to be sure the tip doesn’t slide off.

Because the shaft is sort of flexible, the crop can be used by pulling back the tip and letting go, which is much more painful than just hitting someone with the tip.  It can be wielded as a cane or you can just flick the flesh with the leather tip.  It’s perfect for flicking nipples or pussy lips, with its narrow head.  And because of the way crops are made, they can be used for severe or light pain play, depending on your bottom’s pain tolerance and/or level of masochism.  Read more…