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Posts Tagged ‘domestic abuse’

NS(K)Q: Q65 (part 2) – Can a M/s dynamic exist when consent is revoked? (TW)

April 29th, 2016 Comments off

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 65 (part 2):

Original post here. Can a master/slave dynamic exist once the slave revokes consent?

I realized after I posted the last NS(K)Q that I didn’t answer one of the questions asked. Can a master/slave dynamic exist once the slave revokes consent?

In truth, the only real answer here is “it depends.”

There are all sorts of variables, and all sorts of definitions of what a “master/slave dynamic” really is. Whether or not the dynamic can continue to exist depends entirely on the people involved. Read more…

It’s Personal: I don’t need saving.

March 9th, 2015 2 comments

Every time someone finds out about the hierarchy in my relationship, they try to save me.

When I worked at Bed, Bath, and Beyond, it was a strong black woman who proclaimed that no man should ever try to control his woman. The woman should do the controlling.

When I worked at the mansion, it was a wimpy white woman1 who desperately wanted out from under her husband’s thumb, and projected her desires and despair onto me.

Last week, it was a friend’s brother-in-law who doesn’t even know us.

It started like this. Read more…

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NS(K)Q: Q44 – I think my friend is being abused.

January 2nd, 2015 3 comments

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 44:

So I read your response to the radical feminist who was considering reporting your owner. That’s just insane. I’ve been reading you a while, and it’s pretty clear to me that you’re happy, and healthy, and Melen is not, at all, abusive. But I know this other submissive, and she’s not happy, or healthy, and I’m pretty sure her dom is abusing her. I have no idea what to do. Advice?

This is a really difficult situation for everyone involved, and I’m sorry that you and your friend are going through it. I think part of the reason it’s so hard on the victim’s friends and family is precisely what you said; they have no idea what to do.

First, you need to know that it is not your responsibility to save your friend. Read more…