This is not me. She's beautiful, though, don't you think?

So lately, I’ve been stuck on trying to do away with Master’s “monster face”.  I’m not sure why I’m so hellbent on making people see the good in Him.  But I think it’s because there is good in Him.  And it makes me feel bad when it’s obvious some people just can’t see passed how mean He can be to the sweetheart He sometimes is.  Like His sadistic streak somehow nullifies the love we share.

And if this were an abusive relationship, rather than a consensual one, I could see their point of view.  But I asked for this.  He’s supposed to be mean sometimes.

This morning, we were laying in bed and He kept stroking my hair and kissing my back.  He snuggled me into oblivion and showed me all sorts of pity and sympathy cause my period is kicking my ass.  He called me a spoiled brat when I whined that I didn’t want to get up and let me lay there for a little while longer… Till He realized He wasn’t going to be able to come back to bed because there were serious issues at the office.  Then He made me get up and make breakfast.  Discomfort is not a good enough excuse for the slave to be lazy if the master can’t in this house.

I think He’s feeling guilty about the paddle I bought Him.  It sort of cracks me up because I bought the thing for exactly the reason He’s feeling guilty about it.  Because I knew I would hate it, which would mean He would love it.  I should just crawl over His lap later and wait for Him to get it.

How long do you think it’ll be before I’m begging Him to stop?

Do you think He’ll be able to hold me? I buck pretty hard, sometimes.

Yesterday morning, Master reached around me and started pinching and clawing the fuck out of my tits.

See, the other day I made a huge, huge mistake.  I showed Him, a beautifully sociopathic sadist, just how much I liked that by begging Him over and over to pinch harder, claw more, twist… I think I have permanent indentations in my nipples.  But it’s very, very different when He’s doing it because He wants to than when I ask Him to.  When He wants to, I have no warning.  And sometimes I’m really not into it.   Read more…

I apologize for the delay in my posting.  That silly thing called life got in the way of my posting.  We should tie it up and beat it into submission.  Hey, it sounded like a good idea to me.

The past few weeks have definitely been interesting.  I say interesting because of the fact that I had two awesome weeks and one and a half absolutely awful.  Let’s start with the awful and work our way up from there.  The past week and a half I’ve been sick.  It started as the flu and now I think I’ve got bronchitis.  Wonderful, right?  Oh, it only gets better.  On top of coughing my lungs up and shoving them back down into my chest, I’ve got two projects, a paper, and finals coming up.  Doesn’t my life sound dandy?  You’re damn right it is.  /sarcasm.

Now, onto happier things.  First of all, I have a job interview on Thursday.  I am so excited about possibly working retail again for Christmas.  Last year I worked through the holiday and loved the rush.  Day after Thanksgiving shopping was insane, but I enjoyed the 13 hour shift I had the privilege of working.  I’m not being sarcastic either.  I might need to get a shot from the doctor on Wednesday.  My sarcasm fountain is running dry.

Alright, now that I’ve caught you up on current events, let’s delve into the past.  I got to see my wonderful M two weekends in a row.  I went through withdrawls when I couldnt’ see him last weekend.  Trust me, the distance isn’t that bad since we are only three hours from each other, but the fact that I won’t see him again until the week before Christmas really blows a load.  We will get through it, though.  I’ve got enough to keep me busy until then with school.

So, let me take you on a journey back to Halloween weekend.  And so we begin. Read more…

This past weekend was amazing and I have much more to come with Halloween approaching. This weekend was just one of three, yes three, that I will be spending with my M in the next three weeks. It feels good to know that he and I are going to see each other three weekends in a row. I love how our schedules work right now.

Friday night Tab and I went to Jasmine, along with two of our friends, to visit with my mentor and protector as well as his household.  My mentor, Master Gabriel, is the Dungeon Monitor of the club and he is there every weekend.  He did not know, fully, that Tab was going to be with me and it was nice to see him smile when they shook hands.  I knew that it was going to be a long night for both me and a fellow submissive friend.  And indeed it was.

Let me set the mood for you before I go into detail as to why the following scene happened.  First off, I had been telling my fellow submissive friend of how Thumper, Tab’s huge ass paddle that I love to pieces, is poly amorous with me and that I was and am more than willing to share him with others.  The whole joke here is that I hate Thumper with a passion because he is a huge ass paddle and stings like a mother fucker.  I am more than willing to allow someone else to be struck with him that isn’t me.  My friend wanted to test that theory.  Her theory was tested.

Also, this is the first hard play night that Tab and I have shared together.

Both she and I had been promised a long night with our antics during the week.  Somehow conspiring with my friend to make socks into sock puppets led to us being in hot water.  Let me tell you, being in hot water with that woman is always fun, even though it’s painful as hell.  No, we aren’t put into hot water that would scald our skin.  It’s metaphoric and being placed in hot water that would scald our skin would probably be pleasant compared to what we endure on occasion.  Read more…

I’m not really a paddle enthusiast.  I mean, I love the Slut Paddle, but that’s more of a slapper than anything.  But often, I could totally do without the oak paddle Master bought.

It’s not that I hate paddles, per se.  Just that they’re not usually my favorite toy.

I mean, there was that one time, when M put me over His knee and made me love it.  And there have been times since.  But… not always.

That being said…

I love, Love, LOVE the Rainbow Nights Paddle by Ruff Doggie Styles.  Like… for serious.  No playing.  On the real.

It’s black leather on one side and black velvet with intricate beading and stitching on the other.  The pain to pleasure ratio fluctuates between just perfect and “OMG! Am I really taking this for you?” on Master’s command.

It feels like it might be a little flimsy, but I think that’s mostly because we’re used to the solid wood.  But let me tell you, if it is flimsy, it makes up for it in performance.

Can I just say again that I love this paddle?

Go check out my full review on Eden Fantasys.

Yesterday, I watched for the UPS guy like a hawk.  It was the final attempt at delivery.  The first day, I wasn’t home.  The second, I completely forgot they were coming and didn’t even open the blinds.  Yesterday, I was glued to the window.  I knew he was here before he did, I think.

I bounded down the stairs and flung open the door before he was even off the truck.  After he joked that it was okay I missed the truck yesterday cause he wasn’t on it, I took the box and ran back up the stairs all excited.  I knew what was inside.  The last package from Babeland contained my Butt Bible.

What I wasn’t expecting was to see the mailman walk up with two more boxes for me.  I started squeeing all over the place when I saw him go to my porch first and walk away empty handed.  And I flew back down the stairs not even grumbling a little bit about the fact that I’d just been downstairs ten minutes earlier.

Imagine my surprise when I found a three boxes sitting on my doorstep.

So, upcoming reviews I haven’t told you about yet:

• Anal Pleasure and Health by Jack Morin, Ph.D.
• Babeland Toy Cleaner
• Diamond Lustre by Evolved
• Lust for Love Edible Massage Oil by Lust Cosmetics
• Lust for Body Luscious Body Lotion by Lust Cosmetics