Ooo, what’s that?

Every time a new massage oil shows up on our doorstep, M asks me a variation of the question, “Don’t we have enough?”

My answer? Not in the least.  I’m on the hunt for “the perfect massage oil” and let me tell you… System JO’s definitely on the right track.  This is Warming Massage Glide, a personal lubricant and massage oil, by System JO.

What’d it come in?

It comes in a clear plastic recyclable bottle with a black push-top lid.  It’s four and one-half fluid ounces.  The label is red and silver and lists a lot of hefty claims.

What’s in it?

Ingredients: polydimethylsiloxane, decamethylcyclopentasiloxane, octamethylcyclotetrasiloxane, dimethylsiloxane, hydroxy-terminated, capsium (cayenne), peppermint essential oil

Polydimethylsiloxane is sometimes called “dimethicone” and is often used in shampoo, contact lenses, elastomers, medical devices, caulking, lubricating oils and heat resistant tiles.  It’s clear, shiny and slick.  And it’s an organic polymer.

Decamethylcyclopentasiloxane is odorless, colorless and non-oily.  It’s used in many personal care products to give skin a silky feel.  And it’s used in dry cleaning, in place of water, to rinse away dirt and oils.

Also an odorless, colorless, non-oily fluid, octamethylcyclotetrasiloxane is often used to make other silicones.  However, it’s also occasionally used as an additive in personal care products.

You’re just gonna have to look “hydroxy-terminated” up yourself.  I took chemistry in high school, but I’m not sure even back then I would have understood this process.  And that was… thirteen years ago.  Great googly moogly.  Something about adding low-weight molecules to cultures which “leads to an increase in the thermal stability, most likely by prolonging the condensation reaction and delaying the degradation reaction” (ACS Publications) in some compounds.  Way over my head, but that last about prolonging the condensation reaction totally makes sense.  I think.  Read more…

$31.99Zing Vibrating anal plug by Tantus Material: Silicone Safety: Buy from EdenFantasys

Ooo, what’s that?

One day, ages ago, we decided to go on a hunt for a new butt plug.  The one we owned, at the time, was jelly.  We’d had it a while and it had begun to deteriorate, as jelly tends to do.  So we decided on a better material, which led us to the Zing by Tantus.

How’s it made?

The Zing is made of silicone.  Mine is purple, but it comes in copper, black and pink as well.  it’s nonporous, phthalates and latex free and hypoallergenic.  The surface is smooth, and the material dense but a little squishy.

The Zing is about four inches long and an inch and a half wide.  It’s rather light.  The bulbous end shrinks down to about an inch before flaring out into a wide, circular base with a hole in the center for the bullet it comes with.  And it’s ribbed.

To be honest, I don’t remember much about the bullet.  It wasn’t waterproof and I managed to kill it in a matter of weeks because of that.  But I’d already looked up a replacement and found one cheap, so I didn’t really care.  It took three watch size batteries.  That’s really all I remember about it.

What’s it for?

Zing is a textured anal plug with an accompanying vibrating bullet.  Both the bullet and the plug can be used vaginally, if you so choose.

How is it?

Rayne’s Rating:
Pros:	Cons:
cheap replacement vibe	ribs uncomfortable

I hate it.

I didn’t hate it right away.  It was way better than the jelly thing we had before it.  I would have taken anything over that.

It’s almost always uncomfortable on insertion.  I cannot stand the ribs.  They’re uncomfortable and… just not for me.  With the vibrations, they were barely tolerable.  Without them, they’re not at all.

Besides, Pfun has me, hook, line and sinker.  And Ryder’s a close running second.  I like ‘em smooth, and sometimes curvy.  You can keep the ribs.

How do you care for it?

You can boil the Zing, or put it in the top drawer of the dishwasher.  But you might want to weigh it down.  Wash it with antibacterial soap or toy cleaner.  Use water based lube and clean it between uses, partners and orifices.

Where’d ya get it?

I bought Zing from some sleazy sex toy shop, but you can buy it from Eden Fantasys. Eden Fantasys is more than just a trustworthy sex toy store that ships its products in discreet packaging (I once got my stuff in a lemonade box. No lie.). It’s an entire community of men and women gearing for a sex-positive society.

They’ve got Eden Link, a place for their customers to converse with the heads of the companies Eden works with. There’s SexIs Magazine, where you can learn just about anything you want to know about sex, or even share something you know that others might not. They’ve got a ginormous forum on which you can ask questions about toys you are interested in and get advice from some of Eden’s reviewers. And let’s not forget Eden Cafe, where I have a weekly column about M/s relationships.

$32.99Beginner ball gag Mouth gag by Tantus Material: Silicone Safety: Buy from EdenFantasys

Ooo, what’s that?

While I really enjoy the Ball Gag M and I have had for years, it is a little large.  Occasionally, when it comes out, I’ve got a cramp in my jaw.  Once I couldn’t close my mouth for some time.  I’ve been staring at the Beginner Ball Gag from Tantus for quite some time.  So I bought it.

What’d it come in?

It came in two pieces in a molded plastic shell that snapped shut.  Behind it was a cardboard insert with writing on it describing the toy.

How’s it made?

The ball gag is made of red silicone.  Real, hospital-grade silicone.  This is noteworthy because ages ago we bought a purple ball gag that claimed to be silicone and wasn’t.  After only one or two uses, it began to taste really bad and burn my lips and tongue.

It’s nonporous, phthalates and latex free and hypoallergenic.  It’s soft and squishy with a luxurious velvet surface.  And it’s shaped sort of like a pacifier.  The base is about three inches long by two inches wide at its widest point, and covers the lips when inserted.

M calls the part that goes in the mouth a “mouth plug” because it has a bulbous tip (about an inch and a half wide), then shrinks down to a smaller base (about an inch) like an anal plug.  It’s two inches long from the top of the base to the top of the ball.  The base is a half inch thick.

The straps are made of black leather with snaps on one end and velcro on the other.  They’re each sixteen inches long and slip through slits on either side of the “mouth plug”, then snap in place.  The leather is soft on both the inside and outside and a little stretchy.  Read more…

$36.99Ella G-spot dildo by LELO Material: Silicone Safety: Buy from EdenFantasys

Ooo, what’s that?

I did it.  I caved.  I couldn’t handle not knowing whether or not LELO was all it’s cracked up to be.  So I decided to start with Ella, the double ended dildo.  Isn’t she lovely?

What’d it come in?

A beautiful black cardboard box.  Inside you’ll find Ella, a satin bag to store her in and a user manual.

How’s it made?

Ella is seven inches of the most buttery silicone I’ve ever encountered.  She’s one and a quarter inches at her widest point.  Mine’s black, but she comes in white and rose as well.

She’s got two different heads.  One’s flat and wide for direct g-spot stimulation.  The other bulges out in a nice curve before tapering down to a dulled point again.

She’s nonporous and phthalates and latex free.  She’s flexible, but kind of hard compared to some silicone toys I have.  And she looks much larger in pictures than she actually is.

What’s it for?

Ella’s designed for spot on, firm g-spot stimulation on one end, and delicious thrusting on the other.  You could probably use her anally if you so choose, I’d just suggest keeping a good grip on her.  Perhaps only using the g-spot end as a handle when using her this way.

How is it?

Rayne’s Rating:
Pros:	Cons:
buttery smooth beautiful shape excellent for clit and g-spot stim	not quite thick enough

It took me a minute to get used to her.  But only a minute.  And then I was thrusting away.  Turning her around.  Thrusting some more.

The flat g-spot head is great for the g-spot and amazing for clitoral stimulation without vibrations.  The whole thing feels divine no matter which way you use her.  But feel free to use some sort of vibrator with her, as well.

She slips and slides with lots of lube, or drags and rubs with not so much.  Her elegant curves are alluringly elegant.  She’s comfortable to hold and easy to hold onto.  Her buttery smooth surface is enough to make you want her between your legs.  And once there, you’ll love the way she bends to meet the spots you want her in.

What more could a girl ask for? More girth.  I just want Ella to be a little bit thicker.  Then I think she’d be perfect.

How do you care for it?

Put Ella in the top drawer of your dishwasher.  Boil her for three minutes.  Wash her with antibacterial soap and water.

Store her in the gorgeous box she comes in, or use the satin bag she comes with.

Use water based lube.  Share her between partners or orifices.  Just be sure to wash her in between.

Where’d ya get it?

I bought Ella from Eden Fantasys.  Eden Fantasys is more than just a trustworthy sex toy store that ships its products in discreet packaging (I once got my stuff in a lemonade box. No lie.).  It’s an entire community of men and women gearing for a sex-positive society.

They’ve got Eden Link, a place for their customers to converse with the heads of the companies Eden works with.  There’s SexIs Magazine, where you can learn just about anything you want to know about sex, or even share something you know that others might not.  They’ve got a ginormous forum on which you can ask questions about toys you are interested in and get advice from some of Eden’s reviewers.  And let’s not forget Eden Cafe, where I have a weekly column about M/s relationships.

Ooo, what’s that?

Isn’t it funny looking? Cin has one, too, and it just looked like so much fun.  It’s the Snugglepuss by Vibratex.

How’s it made?

The Snugglepuss is hinged pink plastic encased in a pink elastomer sleeve.  It’s phthalates and latex free and hypoallergenic.  It’s about four inches long and an inch and a quarter at its widest point.

It’s shaped sort of like a “U”, with one side having a sort of butterfly on it with nubs between the wings, and the other being shaped sort of like a big toe (Yes, I realize how gross that visual is.  I can’t help it! That’s what it looks like!) with nubs all over it as well.

The side with the butterfly comes off to reveal the batter compartment, which, if I’m to be honest, I was rather disappointed with.  First, the sleeve is excruciatingly difficult to remove without tearing.  I managed, but I have a tendency to treat my sex toys like the slightest wrong touch will break them.  Second, once I got the sleeve off, the battery cap just sort of popped off in my hands.  It’s a teeny-tiny square of plastic with no real clasp to speak of.

Inside, you’ll find three watch batteries separated with a thin piece of plastic to keep it from draining them or turning the toy on.  Pull out that plastic, replace the cap and sleeve, and you’re good to go.

The toy turns on and off by separating the two ends, so you need do nothing from here but insert it and adjust it so it’s sitting correctly.

What’s it for?

This toy is made for handsfree simultaneous g-spot and clitoral stimulation.  Insert the thicker end.  Situate the butterfly so that it’s directly over your clitoris.  Let your labia close around the butterfly wings, and enjoy the ride.  Read more…