So this is where we started:

Click photos to enlarge!

The semi-circle on my boob is where I branded myself with the bells a while back.  And I was right! My right boob is bigger than my left boob.  And yeah… I still hate my body.  But the other night, I walked by a picture of me and said, “I’m not half bad, huh?” And I guess I’m not if you like chicks who look like me.  Or at least dirty whores.

Then He flogged me, according to the sequence of photos.  I still don’t remember. Read more…

Before I start this, I want to… I don’t know.  Babble more, I guess.  I was completely and utterly gone five minutes into this scene.  As in, I’ve only been this far gone on mind-altering substances.  As in, I was completely sober when we started playing but, when He let me down, I felt like I’d just taken a triple dose of Ecstasy (MDMA).  That claim is not an exaggeration and I have experience on which to base it.

My Twitter friends (the ones who were on) didn’t seem all that surprised.  I don’t remember ever reacting that way to a scene before.  I mean, a marijuana high, maybe.  Floaty and spacey and such.  But this was, without a doubt, exactly like the peak of a triple dose of Ecstasy.  My vision was crazy, my body tense and I was trembling like a leaf.  I loved it.

He took a lot of pictures but He hasn’t really edited much.  And He made a playlist specifically for the scene that He’s going to email me.  As soon as the photos are edited and I have the list, I’ll be sure they go up.

I don’t remember much.  What I do remember is jumbled.  And I’m a little on the droppy side.  So if this makes sense at all I’m thanking… somebody.

Oh… And just a forewarning to my friends who “absolutely have to have aftercare”? I’m not trying to be mean, but it would probably be in your best interests not to whine to me about going without anymore.  Ever.

Cin had just barely shown up online so I could teach her a few things she needs to know how to do, when Master ordered me off to the shower.  I had no idea what was going on.  I don’t know if I was supposed to or what.  So I got huffy and stomped into the bathroom.

When I got out, Master got in and when He got out, He said, “Get every toy you own and lay them out on the couch neatly.”

“Ooo! You should take a picture of them all so I can post it!” I squealed and He gave me one of His amused, Oh, Rayne. looks.  “What? You… should.”  I faltered.

I watched as He began setting things up.  His tripod came out.  The camera.  A blanket went up for a solid background rather than His desk and bookshelf.

“Go stand in the doorway.  I need to see if I can do anything about the lighting.”

And that’s when it happened.  A knot the size of Texas formed in the pit of my stomach as I realized it had finally come.  The day I’d been begging for.  He was going to play with me like He used to.  Read more…

I don’t know how much I’m willing to give you today.  I’m going to try to write about Tuesday night, but there’s a lot that I’m not ready to share.

I’m half expecting M to read this and order me to tell you the rest.  True to form, I’m pretending He wouldn’t do that.  Honestly, if He thinks it’s good for me, or He could have fun with it, He would.  But we’ll just keep pretending He wouldn’t, kay?

We went to bed around midnight, or so? We hadn’t done much of anything but sit on the couch for hours and talk about random shit and then watch a little television.  We crawled into bed and it took me all of ten minutes to fall asleep.  M was still awake.

“You’re falling asleep already, bitch?” He growled and I turned to blink at Him in the darkness.

“Yes, Master.  I’m exhausted. ”

“So you don’t want to get up to get beat?”

Again, I blinked at Him.  “Well, I mean, if it would please you, Master.”

“Get your ass in the living room, slut.  Don’t forget your collar and cuffs.”

I was sort of… stunned.  But I did as I was told.  I’ve long since forgotten the order of things.  So I’ll just talk about them as I think of them.

For a long time, He had me sat on the floor with my wrists locked together and my fingers in my pussy.  Just rubbing and touching my clit and lips.  Nothing major.  But eventually I got frustrated and asked Him to unlock them.  It’s really awkward playing with clamps with your wrists locked together and it was time for me to start playing with clamps.

I asked Him to put the tail in my ass, and He tried, but it was too much right off the bat, so we ended up waiting.  That was really embarrassing.  I had hoped a little lube was all we’d need for that toy, and, once upon a time, when He used to plug my ass regularly, that might have been true.  But apparently, that’s not true anymore.  My butt needs warm-up.  So, a few minutes after He tried the tail, I started trying to talk Him into one of our smaller toys.

He said, “Do you want your ass plugged?”

I started rambling something about wanting something in my ass, but being afraid it would hurt and, all firm, making it clear He wanted a yes or no, He said, “I will plug your ass with the smaller one if you want me to.  Do you want me to plug your ass?”  Read more…

Yesterday:

Today was ridiculously hot.  Ridiculously.  And from what I understand, it’s not over yet.  Cause Master has a raging hard-on that just won’t quit.  And I’m going to try to offer you more than the bird’s eye view of what went on.  More than my viewers got as it was happening.

What happened?

Master set up the webcam this morning and sent me off to the shower.  Once I’d air-dried enough, He told me to kneel in front of the camera and put on my collar and cuffs.  He was specific.

“Kneel with your legs spread and put your collar and cuffs on.”

He’d already told me I wouldn’t know who was watching or when.  That freaked me out, enough.  I’ve never knowingly been put in that position.

“That freaked me out.”  I say that a lot.  It’s not a fair description.  Cause it could mean so many different things.

I was nervous.  Embarrassed.  Worried about my naked body being on display for strangers.  A still is one thing.  But a live feed of all my jiggly bits bouncing all around? ~shudder~

It wasn’t long before Master was on Twitter announcing that He’d be allowing people to watch me do dirty things to myself.  And MasterKKT and Cin leaped at the opportunity as well as a couple others.

Freaked out? Yeah, that’s an understatement.  Cause Master had already mentioned making me plug my ass in front of the webcam.  And not even the normal plug.  The tail.  Which is all sorts of ouchy when I put it in myself and all sorts of embarrassing no matter who does it.

He made me clamp my nipples with the very same bell clamps I used to brand my tits while kneeling before the webcam with my legs spread.  And then, when He’d decided my nipples deserved a break, He sent me to the cam to take them off.  Oh… and to demonstrate how the cuffs I wear are lockable for Cin.  Read more…