…that when it comes to S&M, I’m one elitist bitch.

I just got finished watching a few porn clips, made by friends and strangers alike, and through each and every one of them I found myself thinking, “My god! If that’s what S&M looks like, M’s totally doing it wrong. Someone should really tell Him He’s too fucking mean!”

However, they all seem to say the same things. It’s high time these dominants get some new material. ~nods emphatically~

And yes… those are my boobies in my new red gown.  If we ever get around to busting up the bazillion boxes and putting away the clothes laying around my living room, y’all might just get pictures of all of me in it.

Shut up.  You know you’re excited.

I don’t know how much I’m willing to give you today.  I’m going to try to write about Tuesday night, but there’s a lot that I’m not ready to share.

I’m half expecting M to read this and order me to tell you the rest.  True to form, I’m pretending He wouldn’t do that.  Honestly, if He thinks it’s good for me, or He could have fun with it, He would.  But we’ll just keep pretending He wouldn’t, kay?

We went to bed around midnight, or so? We hadn’t done much of anything but sit on the couch for hours and talk about random shit and then watch a little television.  We crawled into bed and it took me all of ten minutes to fall asleep.  M was still awake.

“You’re falling asleep already, bitch?” He growled and I turned to blink at Him in the darkness.

“Yes, Master.  I’m exhausted. ”

“So you don’t want to get up to get beat?”

Again, I blinked at Him.  “Well, I mean, if it would please you, Master.”

“Get your ass in the living room, slut.  Don’t forget your collar and cuffs.”

I was sort of… stunned.  But I did as I was told.  I’ve long since forgotten the order of things.  So I’ll just talk about them as I think of them.

For a long time, He had me sat on the floor with my wrists locked together and my fingers in my pussy.  Just rubbing and touching my clit and lips.  Nothing major.  But eventually I got frustrated and asked Him to unlock them.  It’s really awkward playing with clamps with your wrists locked together and it was time for me to start playing with clamps.

I asked Him to put the tail in my ass, and He tried, but it was too much right off the bat, so we ended up waiting.  That was really embarrassing.  I had hoped a little lube was all we’d need for that toy, and, once upon a time, when He used to plug my ass regularly, that might have been true.  But apparently, that’s not true anymore.  My butt needs warm-up.  So, a few minutes after He tried the tail, I started trying to talk Him into one of our smaller toys.

He said, “Do you want your ass plugged?”

I started rambling something about wanting something in my ass, but being afraid it would hurt and, all firm, making it clear He wanted a yes or no, He said, “I will plug your ass with the smaller one if you want me to.  Do you want me to plug your ass?”  Read more…

Before Master left work, He gave me the option of plugging my ass to go to the store. No I’m serious. He asked which I would prefer. Naturally, feeling it was a trap, I said “Whatever would please you most, Master.”

I’m clever, aren’t I? Unfortunately, He wanted a real answer. What I would do if it was entirely up to me. And He refused to give me any real indication as to what He wanted.

I thought a moment. I weighed the pros and cons. And I came up with a definitive “I don’t know.” I am the most indecisive bitch this side of the Mississippi. No lie.

But seriously! Sometimes I like the plug and sometimes I don’t. And I can’t tell by just sitting there thinking whether or not I like it. I have to actually insert it to know if today is a good plug day or a bad plug day. And once it’s in, it’s too late to go back. I can beg to take it out… but more often than not that gets me a resounding “No, cunt. Deal.” So if I was free to choose for myself, I’d probably choose not to just in case it was a bad plug day. Save myself some trouble.

So, I told Him that. And He said “That’s a pity because it’s nice when a bitch wants to be dirty.” I started searching for the last place I stashed the plug. God damn did that hurt getting in when I finally found it (resting happily exactly where it belonged).

So Master came home from work and snatched me up so we could go shopping (I’m so sick of shopping. Can’t the groceries come to us?? Well, in our small town they can, but the store that delivers is expensive. I digress.). We needed coffee, deodorant and soap. At least that’s what I knew of. When He got home He told me we needed hot dog rolls. Thirty of them. For a work party I can’t go to. *pout* But in exchange for our demanded offering He gets a $50 gas card. That’ll get Him back and forth to work for almost half a week! We seriously need to get rid of the Durango.  Read more…