Have you seen the Couture Collection Inspire by California Exotics? No? Well, now you have.

It’s all the power of a wand in a vibe smaller than the Rondo! It’s got more than just two speeds.  And it’s electric!

(Boogie-woogie-woogie!)

And Eden Cafe is giving away TWO for free!

I hear ya.  “What do we have to do??!?”

1. Head on over to Eden Cafe and comment on this post letting them know what’s so awesome about this particular wand that you’ve just gotta have it.

There are ways to get bonus entries, but you’ll have to get the rest of the details there.

What are you waiting for? Go enter!

Tuesday, April 6th, Rayne will be thirty years old.  Plautus, the playwright, said “Let us celebrate the occasion with wine and sweet words.”  Rayne says, “Let us celebrate with lube and sex toys!”

You guys have stuck by us through thick and thin, through five or six other birthdays, and through the insanity that is Rayne’s mind.  The way we figure it, we don’t say thank you nearly enough.  So to celebrate her 30th birthday, and with the help of Eden Fantasys, we’re giving away sex toys!

Aren’t you excited?

Wanna see what we’re giving away?  Read more…

The Siena Rondo, by Mantric, was waiting patiently on the steps for me when we got home from M’s office last night.  I’m super excited about this toy.

Why?

Well… It comes in lavender and this pale lemon yellow.  Mine’s yellow.  I’m not a huge yellow (Yellow’s such a weird word.  Say it three times fast.  Yellow, yellow, yellow.  Hee! It’s fun!)  fan, but I like it a little, and there aren’t many yellow (Ooo! I said it again!) toys out there, so that’s pretty cool.  It’s waterproof, but so are most of my toys.  It’s wrinkly and girthy.  It comes in a neat box that has a diagram on the side to show the vibration patterns, which is gonna make trying to explain them so much easier.  And…

It’s gonna be my first ever video review.

Yep.  I’m gonna be on camera.

It smells like Desitin.  That’s just bizarre.

But so far, I’m kinda diggin’ this company.  You see, the Siena Rondo came with a user manual, as so many multifunctional toys do these days (Thank the Great Purple Cabbage!), and this is what I found on the front page:

We’d like to say a heartfelt thank you for entrusting your satisfaction to us.  Mr. Mick Jagger and his fellow Rolling Stones might like to follow your lead.  Apparently, they haven’t been able to find no satisfaction for quite some time now.  Jagger aside, we’d like you to know that your satisfaction matters more to us than you might think.

Our accountant told us that if we didn’t print this booklet, we’d make more money.  After all, you already bought the product, right? What a loser, we nearly fired him.  But then we realised we’d be punishing his wife, kids and pets too and that didn’t seem decent.

So, here is the booklet that the bean counter tried to ban.  It contains the instructions you need be super satisfied with your new Mantric massager.  It did cost us more money and it did take time to write, design and print.  But what’s the point in only doing half a job?

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I cracked up.  Whether at the attempt at a joke, or at the joke,I ‘m not sure.

There’s a slightly less girthy, less wrinkly version called the Siena Concerto that I think I might try, too.  At some point.  Eventually.  It comes in a pretty magenta and black.

——-

We’ve been walking almost daily.  The few exceptions have been when we partied entirely too hard the night before.  1-3 miles each time, depending on how we feel and how much time M has.

It’s been absolutely perfect outside for it.  The skies are blue and the temperature isn’t all that low.  During the day, it hasn’t dipped below forty in a at least a few days.

Fourteen more days till the first day of Spring.

A month till my birthday.

Twelve more days till we show our appreciation to our readers.

I suppose I should get that forum post together.

——-

I’ve got posts up on Eden Cafe and a couple others coming on Submissive Guide.  I’m trying to do more than just read FetLife and Eden Fantasys forum.

And I guess that’s all from me today, because M has a hankering to go walking somewhere besides around the neighborhood, so we’re hopping the bus soon.  I can’t wait to get there.  Course, this ginormous cloud just floated over my house and I’m kind of annoyed about that.  But whatever, we’ll survive.

We’ve got a Venus Butterfly.  Waterproof, remote controlled and wireless.

I’m fucked.  Literally.

Hee!

<3
~pig whore

What’s coming up in reviews? Lots of insertables! For both couples!

First up, we’ve got the Fusion Duality by Evolved.  Babeland sent this to both Cinnamon and me!

I think that’s pretty awesome.  Our first review duel! We get to get an idea of how similar (or different… we’ll see!) Cinnamon’s and my toy tastes are.

She’s already told me a little about her experience.  It sounds pretty awesome! Alas, I have to buy batteries before I can play with mine.  Lame! But the Duality calls for four AAAs.  We got none!

Cin’s also gonna be reviewing The Tease by Topco Sales from Eden Fantasys.  It’s that feathery thing on the end.  Isn’t it purty? It takes two C batteries! I’ve never seen a vibe take anything other than AA or watch batteries, though I’d heard of it before, so these two sorta threw me off!

The other two are mine.  There’s a back-story, sort of, to them.  It’s cute, nonetheless, so you will suffer for me!

I really don’t know if I’m a size queen.  I assume, at least to some extent, I am.  Cause there’s almost nothing in the world better than having my pussy stretched.  Read more…

No, not the cute cuddly kind. The sex toy kind.

Has anyone else tried these?

The reason I ask is, my friend and I used to do sex toy parties and the only thing I ever bought for myself (Yes, I know how lame this is.) was this cock ring type vibratey thing that I threw out when the ex and I split. The third or fourth to last time.

It had two points of contact. One was a cylinder with a domey head at the perineum and the other was a rabbit to stimulate the clit. And, of course, the ring that went around the dick.

And let me tell you. I fucking hated it.

I tried it every way to Sunday. By itself. On him the right way. On him upside down. Backwards. With lube. Without lube. He loved it. Would beg me to let him wear it. And I fucking hated it.

It just hurt. And not in the “OMFG! That feels AWESOME!” kind of way, either. But the “Jesus Christ if you don’t get that fucking thing away from me I’m going to cut off your dick and feed it to you right before I stab you in the stomach and leave you to die.” kind of way.

So! I’m wondering if anyone else has had any experience with these? Am I doing it wrong? Cause, god damn, this one sucked.

Author’s note: I was told to write something for Master that I would find humiliating and degrading and that would make me feel dirty. Of course, humiliation and degradation turn me on so if Master ever did do something like this I would be in heaven.

I stand in the kitchen talking to you on the phone. You are on the way home and refuse to tell me how close you are. I wanted to have
dinner ready for you when you got home but you told me that if I even so much as pulled the meat out of the freezer I would be punished. I shiver as I listen to your voice and imagine your hands on my body. Your body. It belongs to you. Just as everything about me belongs to you. My hand finds its way to your collar and I absently finger the hand shaped pendant that hangs there.

I turn my back to the door and giggle incessantly as we talk about the days ahead. I hear footsteps coming up the stairs and dismiss them as the neighbor. There’s no way you can be home yet. Is there? I hear the key in the lock and spin to face you. Your hand meets my face with a powerful blow and the other fists in my hair. You drag me to the bedroom and toss me, face first, to the bed.

I feel your weight on my back and immediately begin to buck and squirm trying to throw you. You capture one of my hands and I feel the trace of rope go around my wrist quickly. I begin to fight harder, refusing to go into bondage easily this time. You get the rope around my wrist and reach for the other hand. I continue to fight and you wait patiently for me to tire myself out and stop to rest.
i mistake it as forfeit and lie still trying to catch my breath. You see your opportunity and grasp my other hand quickly binding it to the first.

It takes You a while, but finally you capture all four limbs and bind me in such a way that I cannot move but uou have access to any orifice you choose to defile. Next come the blindfold and gag. I feel Your hands on my body. Gentle at first. Trailing up and down my spine. Your fingers tracing the crack of my ass. They slide down and trace the lips that you vigorously claim each night. I hear you whispering something but cannot make out the words. Finally, You are loud enough for me to hear. Read more…