For example, I’ve recently become obsessed with this fake guacamole, that I make myself, which is really just a smashed avocado, some fresh squeezed lime juice, and a little homemade seasoning salt (with which I’ve also become obsessed).
I really am getting rather snobby with my fresh ingredients. I blame M. After all, it was his idea.
I use the fake guacamole as mayo, or eat the fake guacamole with corn chips, like you do. Usually Santitas because they’re $2 all day, every day, at every store.
So I do this thing where I don’t put any of those things on the grocery list.
I justify it thusly: I’m the slave. I’m the only one who eats avocados. And avocados go bad rather quickly. If, for some reason, I’m unable to eat them, I’ve wasted food and Master’s money, and that’s really shitty.
Thing is, I don’t add anything I want to the grocery list, including things that last for-freaking-ever, like peanut butter, or…well, I can’t think of anything else I eat that M doesn’t, right now, but I’m sure there’s something.
So this week, when we were grocery shopping, I got all sappy over the ingredients Master brought back. I sent him off for, like, tomatoes, or something, and he returned with a giant bag of Haas avocados.
He asked if I had limes, and I told him I didn’t, but that I would survive without them. Explained that I’d run out of limes before avocados, last time, and that the mashed avocado was pretty good with just seasoning salt, so it was NBD. He came back with a giant bag of limes, anyway. He’s so thoughtful.
Anyway…that’s all I wanted to talk about. I guess I’m getting sappy in my old age.
Oh! Chili Cheese Fritos, Dr. Pepper, and pumpkin anything. Geez, they seem so obvious now.
*Lolololol of course I’m in love. “Think” sounded better. Also, yes, I realize aphrodisiacs make you horny, not in love. It was cute till you started dissecting it.
This is probably the coolest candle I’ve ever seen in my life. No, this is not a paid ad. It’s just holy fuck cool.
— LotusCandles.com (@LotusCandlescom) June 8, 2016
This is the email I just sent LELO. I know I’m slow on the uptake. Honestly, it comes down to the fact that I love Charlie Sheen as an actor and I wish like hell he wasn’t such a gross person. Yeah, I know. Shitty reason. Oh well. That’s life.
I’m way too tired to go into all the details, but that’s okay! Other people have done it for me. Check out LELO HEX: You’re Not #Winning Us Over over at Marvelous Darling, and Charlie Sheen’s LELO Condoms Get the Shaft From Sex Workers, Feminist Bloggers over at The Daily Beast.
At some point, I’ll be removing their links from my site. I won’t be reviewing their products anymore, unless and until they make some changes. Which is probably something I should have mentioned in the email, but seriously…way too tired.
Have a great day. I’m gonna go nurse this concert hangover. AND I DIDN’T EVEN DRINK! Ffs.
I don’t think I’ve ever done this before. Probably because I don’t remember ever being this impressed.
I received the entire Vondage set (wrist cuffs, ankle cuffs, collar, leash, hogtie strap, blindfold–sold separately) on July 6th, and I literally haven’t taken the cuffs off except to do things that involve my hands and food or harsh chemicals. Or if we’re leaving the house, cuz it’s shorts weather, and I’m pretty sure my neighbors would lose their shit if they saw me walking around in locking black leather-looking cuffs.
Aside from wearing them constantly, I haven’t used them enough, yet, to write a full out review, but I can say that, as a 24/7 bondage tool, Vondage is #1 on my list.
Yep. You read right. #1. Read more…