Kinktionary: Fetish

January 18th, 2017 No comments

The Shoes Come Off on elaisted.com

In the vanilla world, though most have a cursory knowledge of the kink realm, the word “fetish” is often used tongue-in-cheek to describe something a person is really into. Not necessarily sexual things. I’ve heard people say they have a fetish for a color, or a fetish for a certain kind of coffee, or a fetish for a game.

Merriam-Webster defines “fetish” thusly:

  • an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion
  • an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression

However, a fetish isn’t always necessary for sexual gratification. Many foot fetishists, for example, can achieve orgasm and enjoy sex without including their partner’s feet. The sex is just that much better if the fetish is included.

A fetish is different from a paraphilia in that fetishes can be healthy, and paraphilias are not.

Got a suggestion for our Kinktionary? Leave it in comments or email it to rayne@insatiabledesire.com with “Kinktionary” in the subject!

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NS(K)Q: Q69 – Disappearing Mistress

January 16th, 2017 No comments

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 69:

Recently, my mistress and I went from d/s to m/s. I’ve never been a slave before, but I thought I’d give it a shot. Problem is, now that I’m a “slave,” she just up and disappears for weeks without giving me any indication of where she’s going, or how long she’ll be gone. Or she’ll tell me she’s going to the store, and show back up at my house three days later. She doesn’t call, or take/return my calls while she’s gone. Is this normal? Because I don’t know if I can be a slave if this is normal.

No, this is not normal.

Being the M in a M/s relationship does not absolve a body of responsibility to the s in the relationship.

Imma say it again for the people in the back.

Being the M in a M/s relationship does not absolve a body of responsibility to the s in the relationship. Read more…

#SunnySunday That Makeup Though

January 15th, 2017 No comments

As I mentioned before, I’m learning to do my makeup. I used to only wear black eyeliner, black mascara, and champagne-ish eyeshadow. No foundation, no lipstick or gloss, no blush…nada.

In this picture, I’m wearing BB cream, blush, highlighter, contour, brown glitter eyeliner, brown and cream eyeshadow (that you can’t really see because my brow bone ate my eyelids), black/brown mascara, and my new favorite red lipstick that made me realize that the reason I hate the way I look in red lipstick is because I hadn’t found a shade I liked (plus some magic that makes your makeup stay in place). That one is Revlon Colorstay Ultimate Suede in Backstage 035, and it’s glorious. Stays put. Doesn’t completely dry my lips. Looks amazing on me.

I need to pick up concealer, and try some actual foundations, but I’m really in love with the BB cream I’ve been using, too. Matches my skin perfectly and makes it look almost flawless.

Can you tell I’m having fun with this?

Who the fuck am I and what did I do with the real me?

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Social Anxiety Sucks Ass

January 13th, 2017 No comments

So the other day, I had a pretty major panic attack. It was ridiculous. I know it was ridiculous. But I couldn’t make it stop.

We were grocery shopping at the Middle of Nowhere grocery store.

I love the place. Everyone is really nice, including the customers. A few of the cashiers seem to sense my social anxiety and try not to freak me out too much. This one woman complimented me on my jingle bells hair ties around Christmas, and the way she said it, it was clear she was really trying not to make me uncomfortable. It was sweet, and I appreciated it.

I still got really uncomfortable, because I felt like I was holding up the line, and heaven fucking forbid you have a genuine, nice conversation with the cashier, any time of the year, if there are customers behind you. And if you do it during the holidays when, no matter where you live, there are a million more shoppers out every single day? Gah! You are the devil.

The impatience of the people behind me was probably mostly in my head, but I can’t deal with that kind of pressure. So I rushed her through the conversation and left while the woman bagging was still speaking. And felt even worse. But I didn’t have a panic attack about that. Read more…

Kinktionary: Puppy Play

January 11th, 2017 No comments

Puppy play is when one party (or multiple parties) act and sometimes dress as a dog. During a puppy play scene, the couple (or multiple parties) may role play obedience school, doggie games like fetch, puppy training, potty training, and the like. Usually, the puppy is kept collared and leashed whether or not they’re dressed as a dog. Often, the puppy is allowed only to communicate in puppy sounds, like barks and whines.

Some couples arrange puppy play dates for their “pets.” And there are even puppy play park parties where groups of people into puppy play get together and the human puppies can engage in play with other human puppies.

Some folks won’t have sex with their partners while they are in puppy mode because they feel it is akin to bestiality. Some believe that when their partners are in puppy mode, they cannot actually give consent. Others believe it’s only role play, and incorporate puppy play into their sexuality.

Got a suggestion for our Kinktionary? Leave it in comments or email it to rayne@insatiabledesire.com with “Kinktionary” in the subject!

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NS(K)Q: Q68 – Passionate Disagreements

January 9th, 2017 No comments

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 68:

So the other day, my owner and I had a huge fight. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it’s painful. This time, I can’t bring myself to back down. Something happened outside of our relationship that caused some issues for me, and I wanted to stand up for myself, but he wouldn’t let me. I’m angry, and hurt, and I feel like he doesn’t care about what happens to me. How do you handle things like this? Am I overreacting?

That’s rough. I’m sorry you’re having a hard time, right now.

Without knowing the whole situation, I can’t really say whether or not you’re overreacting. I mean, if the something that happened is something small, like someone accidentally stepped on your toe and didn’t cause any damage, then yeah…you’re overreacting a little bit. But if it’s something big, like being disrespected, or discriminated against, or abused in some way, then I feel like you’re not overreacting at all. Read more…