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SJP#230: Telling Family and Friends

How open are you to others about the lifestyle choices you make?Have you told any of your family members? What were their responses?

I haven’t told my family about our lifestyle. They may or may not understand but I’m not willing to take that chance. Knowing my father, it’s always possible they’ve long since found my website and just haven’t told me because they know how irritated I get when I find out they’re snooping.

I have no qualms saying things like “I’ll have to ask M. Make sure He doesn’t have a problem with it.” And I like to pretend they just think we like to be courteous to each other rather than running off to do whatever and letting each other know after the fact. Whether or not that’s true, I don’t know and I don’t really care.

Master’s mother and brother know. I don’t know how that came about. Whether He just told them or what. They knew that He participated in [[BDSM]] before I met Him. His mother was shocked when I told her that I, too, participated in BDSM and that I was His slave. It was almost like she expected it from “bad” people and didn’t, at first, view me as a “bad” person. Now, her view has changed because she is convinced that her deteriorating relationship with her son, my owner, is because of me. As if I had that much control… Lol.  Most of our friends know.

Master has a close friend who is more like a father to Him than anything and he knows. He’s a really sweet man, if a little on the chatty side, and generally does whatever he can to help us out. We don’t talk about it often because it’s not really his cup of tea but occasionally one of us makes a comment about it. Sometimes joking around. Sometimes seriously discussing it. He’s a lot more open-minded than I’d expect someone of his upbringing to be.

The neighbor downstairs is studying to be a Kink Aware Professional so it seemed only natural to tell her. She’s nice enough most of the time but she’s very against dominant males. Occasionally the male bashing she does, whether she considers it that or not, gets a little out of control. We usually try to gently usher her back home when that happens. Neither of us are interested in listening to it and it’s sometimes impossible to steer the conversation to anything else when she gets there.

Our other friends… Most of them are from what we, around here, like to call “The Hill”. Not many of them live there anymore but the neighborhoods they live in aren’t much better. It’s an area near where we live that is riddled with poverty, violent and nonviolent crime.

The women in these areas tend to be strong willed and angry. Sometimes they’re in relationships built on mutual abuse (where both parties beat on each other without consent). Sometimes one or the other is the abuser. Often they’re single mothers either because the father’s in jail or because he’s too caught up in the drama of the streets to hang around. Almost all of them are on welfare.

They don’t really understand the draw of being controlled. And when they find out that I’ve been in abusive relationships in the past they’re doubly confused. But they leave me to it. They don’t try to change my mind or tell me I shouldn’t let my man control me. They usually say something along the line of “That’s how you like it so it’s okay.” They don’t hide the fact that they think I’m bizarre, though.

The men, on the other hand, are a different story. Even the ones that I know to be abusers will say “A marriage is 50/50. Don’t let Him run you.” It cracks me up.

I want to say to them, “If I were in a relationship with you, you’d try to run me with or without my permission. You’d hit me whether I liked it or not. Which do you think is better?” But I keep it to myself. I laugh on the inside. Because I know they’d never get the irony.

prompt found at SubmissiveGuide

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