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A Contest and Fun Reading (AKA – Rayne Is Nuts)

September 1st, 2009

First things first, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that:

DominaDoll is having another giveaway over at her site Pop My Cherry Review (Which I can’t help but think of every time someone says “Cherry Poptart” now.  Lol.).  She’s a generous lady, that DominaDoll.

Win a G-Twist Vibrator from Pop My Cherry Review.  She says this toy is fabulous.  (What’s with me and saying fabulous, lately?)

Okay… Next.

M is a bastard.  No, really.

Yesterday, I was walking home from meeting Him for lunch and I twisted my knee twice because I was too busy answering His texts to watch where I was going.  (See how I did that, there? My sore knee is now His fault.  No, really! It is!) =D

So, we finally crawl in bed, and the man puts His leg on top of my knee.  On purpose.  And starts shaking it.

He made me beg Him to stop.

Like, what the fuck, dude? You can say you’re a sadist but you’re not supposed to actually be a sadist.  Damn!

Okay, I’m kidding.  It fucked with my head a little fuck of a lot.  And reminded me of when I got my gallbladder removed (I typed “out” first, but decided it sounded like a little kid who just got her “tonsils out” and replaced it with removed.  I like to sound smart sometimes.  And adult.  Adult is good.) and got kicked out of bed three days after the surgery.  Sick fuck.

We had a long talk about a thousand yesterdays (Have we even been together a thousand days? I guess it’s gotta be over a thousand, huh? Whoa.  2555 days.  Give or take a couple cause we got together in the end of August.) and I think I’ve come to some conclusions.  At some point, according to the boss, I was || that close to being super slave (In the world according to M, anyway.  Speaking of, I finally remembered the name of that Robin Williams movie that’s been eluding me.  The World According to Garp.  And now I don’t remember what it’s about.) and then I just… stopped.

And I think it’s because I never felt like I was doing anything right.  I got fun pain and punishment pain crossed in my head and… couldn’t tell the difference anymore.  So every time He wanted to string me up, I’d start freaking out thinking I was in trouble and not knowing what I did wrong.  That was a long time ago.  Years, maybe.

Where we go from here is on Him.  I grudgingly handed over the reins and pouted hoping He’d change His mind and sulked when He didn’t…  And then stopped acting like a dumb shit and admitted I never really wanted them in the first place.

This morning, I woke Him by licking His back.  And then I offered Him a blow job.  And He skipped off to work. happy as a jaybird. and stayed happy until, as usual, something fell through when we got home.  But His whole day was brighter just because of how I woke Him up, according to Him.  And He actually thanked me.

I suck at accepting gratitude.  Not to mention He caught me completely off guard.  Master does not say thank you to slaves unless they go above and beyond and licking His back is such a simple, selfish act.  In the morning it brings a smile to His face.  It puts Him to sleep some nights and gets me laid others, depending on what He needs.  And both are awesome in my book.

Ooo.  That something might have just come through.  I hope, I hope, I hope.

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