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How rude!

September 5th, 2009 No comments

lucy_and_charlie_brownFriend of ours grabbed something at the store for us.  We’re waiting for her to get here.  So M asks if I have money.

“No.  I put it back in your wallet.”

“Here.”  He holds out His wallet.

I am insanely involved in TheBloggess.  That woman kills me.  Seriously.

So, eyes glued to the screen, I try to get the last couple lines of her post in before walking over to grab the wallet.  All of a sudden, I get smacked in the stomach by something vaguely rectangular and slightly dense.

“Hey! I wasn’t even looking!”

“Exactly!”

Is there a necrophiliac in the house?

September 5th, 2009 No comments

necrophiliaI sit in front of the a/c we’ve got in the living room.  It gets kinda cold.

So…

Master comes over to hug me, right? And He says, “I think we better turn the air-conditioner down.”

I looked at Him for a second and asked, “Why? Am I cold?”

He says, “Let’s put it this way.  If I was a necrophiliac I’d have a raging hard on right now.”

He’s not playing around.

September 5th, 2009 6 comments

Master, I mean.  He’s, like, serial and shit.

I sound like I’m making fun, but, really, I’m just stunned.  And making light of shock is how I deal with it.

We had to run some errands today, so we caught a ride into town with the neighbor and wandered around in the ritzy part of our county for a while.  The bus went through early and we were in the middle of lunch.  So we walked home instead.

We were cutting across campus and He kept tugging on my hair.  Naturally, I laughed, yanked my head away and said, “Don’t pull my hair.”  while trying to fix the damage He did.

So He grabbed hold and pulled my head almost down to waist level.  “Is that how you ask?”

“Please!”

He let go.  “You’re going to learn to stop telling me what to do.”

I didn’t answer Him fast enough and He reached for my hair again.  “Yes, Master!” I yelped as I ducked out of the way.

And that’s not all.  He makes little comments about everything.  Like He’s rating my performance.  “Well, that response, I’d give a two.  The one before it was much better.”  Okay, not exactly that.  More like, “Well, this morning you were well-behaved even though I was irritating you.”  and “I’m kind of surprised.  You’ve been keeping your mouth closed.”

More often than not, I’m wearing leather cuffs, a leather collar, a leash and nothing else.  Well, besides my eternity collar.  And He’s always got something to whack me with close at hand.

He’s having shit-loads of fun with this having a plethora of sex toys at hand to make me fuck myself with.  And having a new webcam? Well, He’s stingy.  He’s been watching me fuck myself on cam all by Himself and not sharing.  Usually while He’s at work.

I wonder if He can get fired for looking at His wife on webcam in the office.

The best part? He’s usually more excited about me using a new toy than I am! The Diamond Lustre is sitting in the bedroom in it’s purty little box and He keeps talking about me playing with it.  But usually it goes something like this:

“I do still have the paddle out, bitch.  Wouldn’t you rather be fucking your cunt than getting beat?”

-or-

“I could just put off you trying your new toy.”

Ain’t He cruel?

He’s talking about beating me regularly.  Reminding me about my mouth if I so much as quirk my eyebrow funny.  And basically just not even letting me go down the road of considering getting into trouble.

Like… when did He get so serious? You’re telling me He meant it when He said He’s not playing around anymore? I have to actually… act like a slave?

That’s pretty fucking cool.

I forget what happened last night.  I tried to call Him out on something or something.  It was stupid.  Tiny.  Not worth mentioning.  And He responded by pointing at Himself and saying, “Master.” then pointing at me and saying, “Slave.” matter-of-factly and walking away like there was nothing to discuss.

“But… but…”

He turned around and pointed to Himself, “Daddy.” Then He pointed to me, “Baby.” and then walked away.

I started laughing.  I couldn’t help it.  It was just so cool.

He’s all, “What?” and I’m all, “You’re just so cool.”

“I know.”

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Four Boxes? WTF!

September 5th, 2009 No comments

Yesterday, I watched for the UPS guy like a hawk.  It was the final attempt at delivery.  The first day, I wasn’t home.  The second, I completely forgot they were coming and didn’t even open the blinds.  Yesterday, I was glued to the window.  I knew he was here before he did, I think.

I bounded down the stairs and flung open the door before he was even off the truck.  After he joked that it was okay I missed the truck yesterday cause he wasn’t on it, I took the box and ran back up the stairs all excited.  I knew what was inside.  The last package from Babeland contained my Butt Bible.

What I wasn’t expecting was to see the mailman walk up with two more boxes for me.  I started squeeing all over the place when I saw him go to my porch first and walk away empty handed.  And I flew back down the stairs not even grumbling a little bit about the fact that I’d just been downstairs ten minutes earlier.

Imagine my surprise when I found a three boxes sitting on my doorstep.

So, upcoming reviews I haven’t told you about yet:

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