Sub Drop: Fact or Fiction?
The first time I heard the concept of sub drop (and, eventually, top drop), I sort of scoffed at it. I mean, it sounds like a bunch of hooey. How could having your masochistic itch scratched possibly make you feel bad? But being an ex-junkie, an occasional smoker, and a serious adrenaline addict to boot, I should have known the answer to that right away.
Let’s take a look at what sub drop is, first, shall we? This was an interesting hunt because the symptoms of sub drop manifest themselves differently in different people. Which makes sense. Withdrawl affects people differently.
Basically, sub drop is endorphin withdrawal. What does that mean, exactly?
That means, first, that sub drop probably doesn’t illicit the need for its own special name, and second, in the most basic of explanations, I’m sure you’ve all seen movies or television shows that have shown a junkie going through detox. Endorphins bind with the opioid receptors in your central nervous system and gastrointestinal tract, which makes your body react to these chemicals produced in your brain similarly to the way it would react to heroin or opium. First you fly high, happy and maybe a little dopey. Sometimes a little sleepy, but a euphoric sleepiness. And then the effect starts to wear off and you crash. And suddenly, you’re weepy, or crampy, or cranky, or downright mean.
While endorphin withdrawal isn’t quite as extreme (So long as you’re not jumping out of planes five times a day, or being beaten noon to night 24/7.)(And to be honest, when I detoxed, while I was constantly nauseous, I didn’t go through most of what junkies on television do. Maybe I was just lucky.) as a street drug detox, it can cause many of the same symptoms, or, at the very least, leave you a little off kilter.
In the beginning, now that I’m thinking about it, I used to drop hard. And I didn’t wait the thirty-six hours most people say it takes to happen. I started almost immediately. I think my body was replacing my cocaine addiction with an adrenaline addiction, and going mere hours without some form of pain would make me crazy, until the chemicals flooding my blood stream and nervous system regulated themselves, and all became right with the world once again. And we attributed it to the crazy we already knew I had.
I remember M saying, all the time, “You beg me to beat you, and then when I do, you’re a bitch. If you hate it so much, why do you ask me to do it?”
And the only answer I could give Him was, “But I don’t hate it.” I was just as confused as He was.
I didn’t hate it. But I did bitch. Always at Him with “You’re doin’ it wrong.” or “You always want it when I don’t.” or… something. Or even if I didn’t bitch, I was a bitch. Snipping His head off for asking me to get Him a drink, and begrudgingly sucking His cock, and stomping around in a huff for an hour.
Some would say this meant I needed aftercare. But even when M gave aftercare a shot, I would get pissy. Sometimes worse than without the aftercare.
There were all sorts of different things going on in my head and body. My heart and head were reeling from the sensory overload and subsequent full stop. Every part of my body was throbbing in rhythm with my pulse. I was soaring on a rush that I can only compare to a manic high (which some equate with “sub space”). Then, when M was finished playing with me, my brain would catch on to the sudden denial of any and all sensation, and I would crash, much like a bipolar drop.
While riding on the high, all of my insecurities vanish and nothing can bring me down. But when I start to come down, the “what ifs” creep in.
Can you see why we attributed it to my crazy?
Oh wait… I forgot. I was gonna call it “eccentricities” from now on.
Ever gone on the scariest roller coaster of all time and felt awesome when the ride stopped, but after an hour or so, you’re tired, and maybe a little cranky? Gotten into a fight and felt like king of the world after, but suddenly were a little depressed later on with no obvious trigger? Stepped into some shit you weren’t prepared to handle, got through it, and felt bigger than The Beatles, then later, fell apart?
That’s all sub drop. Your brain (or, to be more exact, the pituitary gland) reacts to pain, dangerous situations, excitement, spicy food, a piece of chocolate and orgasms by increasing your endorphin levels, until your brain realizes you’re no longer processing the stimulant, to either increase pleasure or decrease pain accordingly. Because the body reacts similarly to endorphins as it does to opiates, when endorphin levels drop, the body begins to go through withdrawal.
I recognize my drops for what they are now. Sometimes it’s a little bit of a pain to tell if they’re bipolar drops or endorphin drops. The only sure fire way is for M to hit me. If I’m still a bitch, it’s my “eccentricities” getting out of control. But if hitting me betters my mood, it was almost definitely endorphin drop.
Generally speaking, these days, when I’m being snotty, I just ask Him to hit me. One way or another, it adjusts my attitude.
There are all sorts of suggestions for getting through sub drop. Some say it’s as easy as talking to an afflicted submissive, or eating a piece of chocolate. Some cuddling or having sex.
But me? I usually need to be hurt. Not a long session or serious pain. A couple jabs to the thigh or slaps to the face usually do the trick.
I read an article somewhere about how curing sub drop with pain was like feeding a junkie. Feed me, Seymour! Or… Master, rather. =D