SJP#279 – Dreams and Goals
The honest answer is “sometimes”. It depends on whether or not said dream or goal interferes with His wants/needs/ideas of how our relationship should look.
Slavery-oriented or life-changing dreams and/or goals have to be approved by Him. And usually, if I can pursue them without affecting my relationship/life with Him in any way, He’s more than willing to allow it.
He spurs me on with pursuing my writing. I think it actually disappoints Him more than me that I’ve mostly stopped writing fiction and erotica. I’m kicking myself for it, too. I’m not as bad of a writer as I’d convinced myself I was.
And I keep saying, “When I’m caught up on reviews.” or “When I’ve finished cleaning up ID.” or whatever. But the fact of the matter is, I need to just sit down and do it.
Some of the activism I’d like to be involved in M’s more than willing to allow me to pursue once I get my ass in gear with regard to my slavery. He feels the same way as I do on most of the issues, and would like to be involved as well, but He won’t indulge me until I’ve gotten better at fulfilling my obligation to Him. And I don’t blame Him. Being an activist can become a full-time job. If I can’t keep up with almost no obligations, I’ll never be able to keep up with a full plate outside of the house.
The one dream I don’t think He’ll ever indulge is my dream to become a lawyer. And at this point, I’m not really interested in doing the schooling, anyway.
But He has an excellent point. The kind of lawyer I’d want to be would have me out of the house all the time. There’s no guarantee I’d make a lot of money. And in order to make a lot of money, I’d have to be working damn near all the time.
I hear you. He works all the time. But He’s the boss. He’s allowed.
If I had a career that required my undivided attention, then we might as well just nix this whole master/slave thing. If I became the prestigious lawyer I would want to be (because no way would I ever go into this dream half-ass… it wouldn’t be worth it), my time wouldn’t be His time anymore. It couldn’t be.
But I knew that coming in. And I’d already pretty much decided that as much as I want to be a voice heard, rather than a voice overwhelmed by the masses, it requires much more commitment and time away from my owner/husband than I am willing to sacrifice.
I have occasional “Damn it, I shoulda went to law school!” moments. But they’re usually when I see some injustice that a good lawyer would have been able to right. And it’s arrogant of me to think I would ever be that good of a lawyer. If nothing else, I’m not sure my short attention span would allow it.
Course, if I did become the prestigious lawyer I’ve always wanted to be, M would get that much deserved retirement He’s always wishing He could have. Lol.
prompt found at SubmissiveGuide