That’s discrimination! -or- Two words I’m sick of hearing.
My First Bitch:
Don’t you ever get bored of being offended? I mean, really. I haven’t even completed the first paragraph of my post yet, and I’m willing to bet you’re already offended. Doesn’t that seem kinda… silly? It’s gotta be stressful. And exhausting!
I think the best phrase my parents taught me was “So what?” Which is usually followed by “That’s his problem.” As in, “Johnny just said you have a fat ass!” “Oh yeah?” “Yeah!” ~shrug~ “So what? That’s his problem.”
You should try it. Go ahead. Do it right now. Here… I’ll help you out by reiterating my first paragraph:
Rayne says you get offended too easily and too often. So what? That’s her problem!
See how easy that is?
My Second Bitch:
Did you know that if you’re not at all interested in same-sex sexual encounters, prefer not to watch someone talk about same-sex sexual encounters, and unfollow someone on Twitter because they’re talking about same-sex sexual encounters, you’re a homophobe?
No, really. I read it on Twitter, so it must be true.
By that logic, I guess I’m a hazelnutophobe. Because the smell of hazelnut eventually makes me sick, so I avoid establishments that prepare hazelnut coffee as one of their regular brews.
My Third Bitch:
Asking a woman to a) look out for her own safety, b) protect herself and c) avoid dangerous situations is rape-apologizing and victim-blaming. ~nods sagely~
I realize those of you screaming about “rape culture” are sitting there going, “Yeah… so?” And it really boggles the mind. Because I’ve read most of your blogs a time or two. And I’ve talked to a couple of you here and there on Twitter. So I know you’re not as stupid as this theory makes you look. And I really want to grab you by the shoulders and shake the shit out of you.
We tell our kids “Don’t talk to strangers.” and “Never accept a ride, or anything for that matter, from someone you don’t know.” to arm them with the knowledge they need to be safe when they’re out of our sight. Is that kidnap-apologizing?
We put water wings and life vests on them until they learn how to swim so that if they accidentally get too deep, they won’t drown. Is that drown-apologizing? Are we blaming our kids for inhaling too much water?
We make them look both ways before crossing the street because sometimes they’re too short for drivers to see over the hood of their car. Is that accident-apologizing?
We make people who work in industrial zones, or on construction sites, or on the side of the highway wear orange vests and hardhats. Are we apologizing for the idiots that don’t pay attention and run them over on occasion? Blaming the road crew for the idiots on the road? Blaming the construction worker who got knocked on the head by a tool that fell from the top of the building?
We tell people in natural disaster zones how to prepare for the weather. Are we blaming them for Mother Nature?
“Survival of the fittest” has always been the way of nature. Even human nature. And whether you like it or not, part of being “the fittest” is avoiding danger and standing up for yourself.
My Fourth Bitch:
So let me get this straight. You want me to be more knowledgeable and accepting about your gender identification, and your sexuality, but asking questions about it is offensive and annoying?
You do realize that in the short time I’ve been blogging, the terms used to discuss transgendered people have changed at least twice, right? And back in the day, queer meant gay, not “I like everyone regardless of biological or emotional gender.” So I’m really not surprised people ask you, “What’s the difference?”
My Fifth Bitch:
While at first I thought it was cute that people had begun treating Twitter like their bedroom, I’ve really about had my fill of public sexting on Twitter. Which sucks. Because I like most of the people I follow who sext occasionally.
But seriously? Would you fuck on the sidewalk?
Maybe some of you would. But where I come from, that’ll land your ass in jail, because it’s considered indecent. And honestly? I don’t see making it okay for people to fuck on the sidewalk as a sex-positivity thing. Because regardless, there are still STIs and some of them are deadly. And that’s just the beginning of reasons not to make fucking on the sidewalk okay.
I suppose that could be alleviated by setting up filters. But I’m almost positive that would block half the shit my tweeps say. And that would sort of defeat the purpose.
I guess that’s all the bitching I’ve got for you for today. Thanks for listening!
P.S. I originally labeled the bitches Bitch #1, Bitch #2, etc. but I figured someone would think that meant I was calling the people who said the things I was bitching about bitches. So I changed it. See my first bitch for how I feel about it.