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Hey, Jealousy

September 16th, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments

Last Thursday, my post on Eden Cafe was Day 18 of 30 Days of Kink, which asked about my kinky pet peeves.

Go read it.  I’ll wait.

Ya back? Finally! Sheesh, what took you so long?

So “Posh Kinster” gets on my nerves more than I let on.  And I think at least part of it is a bit of jealousy. 

I read a lot of BDSM blogs, and sex-related magazines with kink-related articles in them, and kink forums.  Occasionally, I read profiles of the authors and posters, cause they’re almost always written by the authors themselves.  And it’s interesting to know what people think of themselves.

Something you see occasionally is a list of awards.  Serious awards these people received from other kinksters they hold in high regard.  And I find myself wondering if maybe there is some BDSM club I don’t know about, and kink is a competition.  And how the hell, in my eight years of research, and reading, and making friends with community-involved kinksters have I managed to overlook this club? And where the hell can I sign up? Cause I’m one hell of a competitor, and I’m ready to get my hands dirty.

Actually, the reality of it is, I can’t imagine weighing one submissive’s service against another’s, unless maybe they were serving the same dominant.  And sometimes, maybe not even then.  Because no matter what they say, no one goes into these relationships because someone else wants them to.  They go into them because they fulfill a need they have, too.  Which makes perfect sense.

I can’t fathom weighing one dominant’s topping technique against another’s either, outside of what works for me, and what doesn’t.  Because when it comes right down to it, I may hate Joe Blow from Connecticut’s topping style, but Sheila from California (What’s with me and C states?) might love it.

I know that some of them are awards for their service to the community.  I have no idea what qualifies as good service to the community.  I’m not really sure who gets to vote on these awards.  And it doesn’t bother me overly much that some of them have the word “national” next to “Mr. or Ms. Kink” (or leather, or whateverand obviously not including the ones that are legitimate, like the pageants) when I know for a fact I wasn’t consulted.  And M wasn’t consulted.  And none of my kinky friends were consulted.  And probably none of their kinky friends, either.  And let’s not even talk about the closet kinksters no one knows about.

But the ones for better submissive, or better dominant frustrate the hell outta me.  Nothing like making couples bend over backwards to keep up with the Joneses.  Literally.

Not to mention, how do we know the pageantry and good behavior isn’t a facade they put up for the community? If you’re only good at what you do when people are watching, I’m not so sure it counts.  At least, not enough to make you better than all the rest of the people doing it just as well behind closed doors as the ones doing it in front of them.

The jealousy, though, doesn’t come from them having won an award.  Good for them! I’m not sure how serious people should take the ones coming from small groups of people within the kink community, like “Mr. and Ms. Snakebite Bend, West Virgnia”, but it’s awesome that the Snakebite Bend munch group thinks they’re awesome.

The jealousy comes from not being involved.  Not going to events, or munches, or play parties.  Hell, I don’t even really care about the munches and play parties as much as the events.  They sound so effing awesome.

So… Color me green with envy of those of you who get to go.  Seriously wish we had the time, energy, money, and well-behaved slave required for Him to consider it.

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