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What We Did on “Vacation”… Somewhat

September 20th, 2010

This picture has nothing, whatever, to do with the post. It just looks so peaceful. And the wall gives the imagination reason to believe no one could ever bother one there.

Yes, I realize there’s no “Getting Fit” for last week.  No, I didn’t forget.  We took a “mental health” vacation that almost turned into a “gone completely ’round the bend” vacation thanks to M’s HR person, for which I scheduled a lot of posts, so I could stay away from the internet and my computer if I was so inclined.  And I figured that getting online to talk about how we were stepping away from the computers to improve our mental health was sort of defeating the purpose.

Let’s see…  What’d we do last week?

M’s vacation started on payday.  So we bused it into town, and stopped by His office.  We only intended to be there a minute or two, but I think we ended up staying at least an hour.  First M had to talk to the boss.  Then the CEO.  Then the HR person.

Speaking of the HR person, if you saw our call for attorneys, you know that we’re still having issues with regard to M’s child support.  And at this point, it’s not completely child support’s fault.  It’s also partially the fault of the HR person at M’s job, who insists that it’s not her job to keep track of how much she’s withholding from M’s paycheck.  ~blink~ 

So, I did some searching online, and found a few governmental websites that describe, in detail, what parts of child support is M’s job, and what part of it is HR’s job.  Lo and behold! It’s HR’s job to keep track of how much they’re withholding, make sure they don’t withhold more than 60% of the non-custodial parent’s wages/salary, and file paperwork with child support enforcement letting them know that the withholding has exceeded the federal limit.  It even says in the documentation I found (and had M forward to HR) that monetary support payments supercede medical support, and that HR is required, by law, to refuse to withhold more than the federal limit, even and especially if that means not putting the children (who, in this case, have health coverage, so technically, M shouldn’t be required to cover them, but child support enforcement likes to make the rules up as the go, even when they’re in black and white) on the non-custodial parent’s health care plan.

If you include M’s on-call payments, HR is already withholding $60 more per pay period than the allowed 60%.  If you don’t include them (I’m unclear on whether or not you’re supposed to include the on-call payments because they’re not considered “salary”, so much as a “bonus”, and they fluctuate in amount depending on how often and how long M’s on call in a pay period.), they’re already withholding about $300 over the legal limit.  Add to that the $380 per pay period that it’s going to cost to add M’s children to His health care plan, and that puts Him almost $700 over the legal withholding limit.  Is it any wonder we’re barely getting by?

I have to call Legal Aid either this afternoon, or tomorrow morning.  Whenever I get my list of questions squared away.

M’s work’s cell plan came up for renewal, so they got to choose between iPhones and Droids.  M, who’s slowly turning into the biggest Apple fanboy I’ve ever seen, chose an iPhone, and gave me His old iPod Touch.  So I have frogs, and a puppy, and a city named after me, and a farm, and a zoo, and…

And the puppy gets on my damn nerves.  He’s far too needy, and won’t go to the bathroom.  And in order to make the money you need to take care of him, you have to keep his health and happiness over a certain point.  Which is effing IMPOSSIBLE.  So, I think I’ve made a grand total of three grand.  Which means I have exactly jack and shit with regard to extra neato items to play with him with.  But I still giggle like a schoolgirl when I throw the frisbee to him, or make him do tricks. >.> Who said that?

The frogs lost their novelty when I ran out of room for them all, and couldn’t make money fast enough to buy more homes for them.  And then I realized you can only catalog 50 frogs, and I thought, “Well, that’s dumb.”  Especially considering my catalog is full, and I’ve got at least twenty species in my habitats that haven’t been identified yet.

I’m having far more fun with the farm than I should be, and I managed to get four stars in the first day! Cause I water all manner of strangers’ farms like it’s going out of style.

The city… is a little trickier.  Cause I’m a nut, and instead of just building, I’ve been saving for more space cause I want to make it look really cool! But I have no idea what “really cool” is yet.  So I should really just build and leave “really cool” for later, when I have lots o’ dough.

And dude… I cannot believe people actually spend real money on these games to be able to buy the special items.  Fuck a bunch of that.  If I’m gonna spend real money on a game, it better be something hella complicated, like WoW, not diamonds so I can buy a virtual scarecrow.  Hell, it’s almost Halloween.  If I’m gonna pay $10 for a scarecrow, why  not buy a real one I can touch and hang it on my front porch? Those of you spending real money on virtual scarecrows are weird.  Just sayin’.

We went grocery shopping at ALDI (managing to fill our cupboards and freezer for a grand total of $175), and had breakfast at Breuggers (a bagel shop), and had morning sex, and went for walks.

Over the past five days, I’ve come to the realization that a lot of the things I’ve wanted to do I haven’t done out of fear.  It’s easier to just forget about them, than actually give it a go, and find out it sucks, or I suck at it, or it was a waste of time.

For example, we found hair dye on a steep sale (2 for $5) at Rite Aid this weekend, and bought a couple boxes of red dye.  It’s not going to be a huge change.  I have a ton of red highlights anyway, and if the sun hits my hair right, it looks red sometimes.  And I had strawberry blond hair, and red hair, each for about eight months when I was younger, and they looked great.  But I’m petrified it’s not going to come out right, or it’s going to look dumb, and haven’t once asked M to trim my hair so we can dye it.

Or how ’bout the magazines I want to apply to, but haven’t because I’m not sure how I’ll handle rejection? The stories I know are good that I get maybe a chapter written, and then pretend to forget about? The fun things I’ve never tried? The people I’ve never met? The places I’ve never been?

M calls it “risk assessment and common sense”.  There are all kinds of things I’d love to do that I don’t think He’ll ever allow.  Like owning a motorcycle.  And sky diving.  And bungee jumping.

I haven’t even broached the subjects of sky diving and bungee jumping with Him, really, besides occasionally saying I’d love to do it.  I mean, right now, there’s no reason to ask and have Him dash my hopes.  We can’t afford it, and I’m far too overweight for either to be safe.  Though I only have to lose about fifty pounds, give or take, to feel comfortable.

Thanks to Jerry’s helpful suggestion, and the fantasizing I did with Lilly the other day, I’ve figured out what kind of store I want to open (I’ve always wanted to own a store, I’ve just never known what I wanted to sell.), and I’m not sure M’ll ever let me do that either.  There’s a ton of risk in owning your own business.  But He seems willing to give it a go as an online store, and see how that goes, and then maybe we’ll look for a location.  So, all I have to do to get started, right now, is figure out how.

Guess what I haven’t even so much as Googled.

I’m tired of letting fear (and not wanting to deal with added stress) control my life.  I’m tired of M letting it be okay for fear, and not wanting to deal with added stress, to control our life together.  I’m tired of M having a job that makes Him feel justified in not wanting to deal with added stress.

I want to get off my ass and seize the day, already.  Spend every waking moment fighting in court to make child support stop fucking with this man who’s only ever paid his support on time without argument regardless of how much they try to charge Him.  Tell the NYS government that it is NOT okay for child support enforcement to fuck the non-custodial parent over to the point of poverty.  And, most of all, find a way that requires no work on M’s part to get Him the fuck out of the company He currently works for, and into a job that will appreciate Him, and give Him credit when He’s due, rather than letting someone else take credit for His work, and pay Him what He deserves to be paid, and actually handle His child support the way they’re supposed to, rather than just pushing through whatever asinine piece of paperwork that comes in the mail.

But because He’s content to keep getting stepped on, I’ll probably just sit back and continue to do nothing.  I mean, why should I bust my ass to bring in more money so He can quit His job and work for me (~snicker~) if He doesn’t care enough to get Himself out of His shit job?

If one of you says “Cause you’re the slave.” a fonging will ensue.  Just sayin’.

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