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30 Days of Kink: Define Your Kinky Self by Mistress Kay

November 1st, 2010

Princess Donna Dolore from Kink.com

Rayne’s been bugging everyone for a guest post defining their kinky selves for the writing project Thirty Days of Kink. Next up, Mistress Kay from Kinky World.

From Mistress Kay’s bio: I’m a young Mistress. I’m dating, engaged to, and own a wonderful, full-time slave. While most people tend to discriminate based upon my age, I do like to think that I handle myself with a maturity beyond my age. I’m always open to learning more things and becoming the best Domina that I can possibly be.

What is my kinky self? That’s an interesting question to which I honestly have no answer. Does that mean “what kinks do I enjoy?” Does that mean “what is your relationship with your significant partner”?

The thing is, I don’t just define myself as kinky. I’m also a writer, a student, a hard worker, a reader, an avid blogger, and a girlfriend. Being kinky is just another aspect of my personality. When it comes to describing my kinky self, all of those pieces really do come together to make a huge part of myself that I consider kinky – but it isn’t just something that I consider a pocketed part of my personality. 

I’m a writer. I enjoy writing erotica and other how-to articles. My erotica usually takes a kinky slant while many of my how-to articles end up focusing on how to do different kinks or use different sex toys. I easily write two or three thousand words a day between various reviews, articles, and erotica. My writing makes up a large part of my kinky self since it’s one of the main ways that I express my kinky knowledge.

I’m a student. While I’m attending college to major in Psychology, I have full intention of wanting to be a sex educator when I get older. This means I’ve been taking Human Sexuality classes and spending my free time gathering information about the human body and how sexuality (and kink) works. If everything goes well, I think I’d enjoy doing fetish therapy or researching into the causes of fetishism.

I’m a hard worker. When it comes down to my work, it’s one of the few places that I let my priorities lie. With my income, I do have the ability to start to slowly get out of debt – which will allow me to have more money to purchase kinky toys in the future.

I’m a reader. I absolutely love reading anything I can get my hands on – especially when it revolves around the topic of sexuality. I’ve read tons of fetish books and sex how-to books, and I end up absorbing the information. This allows me to be more educated and more skilled when it comes to technical skills. I end up being able to make good guesses on fetish topics, and with all of this knowledge, I actually do presentations to the local kink group on some of the topics I feel knowledgeable about. My reading has opened a lot of doors since it has filled my head with quite a bit of of useful knowledge.

I’m an avid blogger. A sex blogger, to be exact. I spend my free time testing out and reviewing sex and kink toys. I’ve come to know what I expect out of kink, and my kinky self does revolve around learning about my desires by using these toys. I’ve met a ton of kinksters through my blog, and reading about other people’s views on kink helps me reflect on my own.

I’m a girlfriend. A Mistress, to be exact, over my boyfriend. We both enjoy the power dynamic that comes with the Dominant/submissive relationship. I enjoy being waited on while he enjoys being taken care of. It works well for our relationship and avoids fights that we might be having otherwise.

So where does that leave me? I’m a girl who has a kinky side which surfaces when it comes to my education, my reading, my personal relationship, and my writing. I enjoy my kinky self, its addition to my sex life, but I feel kink is more broadly defined than just my list of fetishes. Kink ends up being a integral part of my personality that defines all of the rest of my actions – and I like it that way.

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