Home > Law & BDSM > BDSM and the Law: Just One More Reason to be Cautious

BDSM and the Law: Just One More Reason to be Cautious

November 9th, 2010

“Jury hears testimony about lifestyle that involves bondage and infliction of pain during sex”

That was the headline that flew across M’s Twitter timeline (He has somehow managed to avoid being drawn into the craze that is Twitter, and generally only watches His timeline for news.  The old stick in the mud.) yesterday.  And the more He read the article to me, the more I wanted to slap the bitch Oklahoma County is trying to protect.

Let’s start with the background.

Nanette “Gina” Larsen, married with children in Utah, moved to Oklahoma to be the property of Richard “Wraith” Wise.  They met on FetLife, and both their profiles are still up if you’re interested in searching for them.  They weren’t difficult to find.  There’s a thread in BDSM and the Law (requires login) about it, too, if you’re interested. 

Gina signed a contract to be Wraith’s property.  Wholly and completely.  And then they went to a nightclub, and Gina caught Wraith with another girl in the parking lot.  I’m sure there’s all sorts of stuff that happened before, during and after these events that we’re not privy to.  Even the few times Gina’s tried to clear up what happened haven’t shed much light on what happened.  In any case, these are the facts as they apply to this case.

As us ladies tend to do when we catch our men doing something we weren’t expecting them to be doing, Gina threw a temper tantrum, and told Wraith it was over.  Right there in the parking lot.  And Wraith handcuffed, choked and beat her, which, from what I understand from the various articles I’ve found on the subject, was his right as her owner.

Gina told her friends, the hospital staff, and two police officers that Wraith attacked her.  She moved to Utah afterward to “protect Wraith from prosecution”.  Now, however, she’s back in Oklahoma with Wraith, trying to defend her relationship, and kicking herself for lying.  The prosecution is arguing, much to Gina’s new found dismay, that on that night, Wraith did not have Gina’s consent.

She says Wraith isn’t abusive.  She says their relationship is happy and healthy.  She says she lied because, being faced with having to discuss the ins and outs of her sexual relationship, she was embarrassed.  She says she was tricked into signing a statement. (I’ve had that happen to me before.  An officer says, “Here.  Sign this.” and you don’t really question it until after the fact unless you’ve been there before.) She says the DA picked the case up even though she wrote on her statement that she didn’t want to press charges.

Wraith, from what I understand, has prior (misdemeanor) convictions for prostitution, and running a brothel.  The DA called a witness who testified that Wraith once tied her up and wouldn’t let her go for twenty-four hours when she tried to leave.  Now, he’s facing felony charges for kidnapping and domestic violence, and a misdemeanor charge of domestic violence.  His bail was revoked because he kept shooting his mouth off in court.  And the DA, from what I understand, not only has it in for Wraith, but is also trying to make BDSM illegal in Oklahoma.

There’s more to this story, and I encourage you to read the thread about it in BDSM and the Law.  The commenters bring up some interesting points of discussion, and ask some questions I’d love to hear the answers to.

There’s always the chance this is a case of “Battered Wife Syndrome”, and she went back out of fear.  But being a battered baby-momma myself, and having dealt with an ex who was states away trying to regain control over me even while he was working on a new relationship, I can’t imagine going back to someone two states away out of fear.  And Gina’s still insisting that that’s not the case.

But I just can’t bring myself to feel sorry for them.  Either of them.  They both acted recklessly, and impulsively.  Had either of them thought for two seconds before reacting, this probably could have been avoided.

However! Let this be a lesson to the rest of us in discreetness, and thinking before we act.  Which was really my only point in posting about this case.  While we’d all love to think that because we’re consenting adults, what goes on in our bedrooms, behind closed doors, is nobody’s business but our own, there will always be people out there who feel differently.  And once that ship’s been sailed, it’s kinda hard to bring it back to the harbor.  Regardless of the truth of this situation, in the vast majority of Oklahoma’s eyes, this guy will forever be a creep.

  1. dweaver999
    November 11th, 2010 at 02:19 | #1

    Rayne,

    The biggest problem with trying to figure out what the hell actually happened in Oklahoma, is that no one knows the whole story. In fact, by the end of the trial, the jury won’t know the whole story. I suspect the jury (or the DA for that matter) doesn’t want to know the whole story. I suspect what this trial will hinge on is whether Oklahoma has one of those laws lassed in the 80s, which makes domestic abuse prosecutable without, and even against, the victim’s contrary testamony inh court (passed to prevent abusers from getting off by smoozing or browbeating the wife/girlfriend into recanting).

    Long story short, you’re absolutely right; we need to keep the public out of our playrooms and bedrooms, because they’re not the havens we’d like them to be. When I was gioven my going away play party before heading to Australia, the Domme who topped me held back a bit so as not to leave marks that would have been noticeable if the worst happened and I was pulled aside for a more intensive search. I have no illusions about how long I’d have a teaching job if I was publically known as a sado-masochist.

    Dave

  2. November 11th, 2010 at 17:29 | #2

    @dweaver999 And ya know, it’s ridiculous.

    There’s this chick who started a blog simply to make fun of the fact that her sister is the female in a household built on the 50s household structure. Apparently, her sister participates in age play, and is somehow involved with children. The woman’s biggest complaint is this, yet she’s furious that her sister has no interest the woman’s children. And it’s like, you can’t have it both ways. Either she’s fit to teach (or whatever) *and* be an active part of your kids’ lives, or she’s not fit to teach, and therefore shouldn’t be involved in her niece’s and nephew’s lives, either.

    But honestly, none of what we do leads to breaking the law, excepting of course assault laws in states where consent is not a defense. And it sickens me that people would stoop that low, knowing the climate in today’s society, to discredit a lifestyle they don’t understand. But it doesn’t surprise me. These days, we’re hunting pedophiles and rapists like we hunted witches in Salem.

    Where I’ve been, by the way, and can’t wait to go again. The energy is amazing.

  3. November 11th, 2010 at 21:35 | #3

    You know, it’s something I find… mildly concerning, and worth remembering when possible; that BDSM is largely a grey area in the law, certainly over here.

    Ultimately, the state still isn’t entirely sure if we can consent to things that are “bad” for us.. I am inclined to agree very strongly that while it can be great to get out there and participate in a kinky setting, there is a very good reason said settings should be somewhat closed off.

    LF x

  4. November 12th, 2010 at 03:54 | #4

    So, I see what you’re saying, Rayne, but I’m still wondering about something. Don’t these M/s contracts have some way of getting out of them? I remember you wrote a while back on EdenCafe that you could tell M that you didn’t want to be owned anymore and he’d let you go. I think that’s only fair, and I would hope that anyone in a Master/slave or O/p relationship would have a known way out. I wonder what Gina’s was, if she had one. If she tells her master that “it’s over,” does that mean the power exchange? Does he have a right to beat her if there is no more consensual agreement? I understand that he has rights that she has signed over to him, but if she feels like she’s dissolving their contract, I don’t think he has the right to hit her, handcuff her, etc. Anyway, that’s the issue that was bugging me after reading the article and your post. Like you said, “Had either of them thought for two seconds before reacting, this probably could have been avoided.” and I totally agree.

  5. November 12th, 2010 at 11:15 | #5

    @LivingFire I agree. 🙂

    @Rockin’ with a Cock in These are all good points, and actually, I think I’m going to make a post about it, if you don’t mind.

  6. November 15th, 2010 at 17:48 | #6

    @rayne Mind? Why would I mind? 😀 I’d love to read it.

  7. November 15th, 2010 at 18:38 | #7

    @Rockin’ with a Cock in Awesome. I’ll probably quote you, too, just so I have your comment too look at in my editor. =D

  8. blackcat
    November 16th, 2012 at 09:01 | #8

    It doesn’t matter if she had a contract or not she would be able to leave.In this case he went over board when he lost his temper.I don’t know then personnely but if they were in a relationship other than d/s than i can see why she got upset even in Polly groups it agreed upon slave/sub /master what ever.so in the end her going back was her choice but it shouldn’t have happen the way it did he shouldn’t done what he did and she should walked away but because of it.shit happened and it give the rest of kinksters a bad rep.

Comments are closed.
%d bloggers like this: