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Today, we made history.

December 22nd, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments

To quote President Obama, “I couldn’t be prouder.”

This morning, via live streaming on MSNBC, I watched our president sign the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal into law, making it legal for LGBT men and women to be open about their sexuality, and serve their country if they so choose. You can read my coverage of this momentous event, as well as a video if you missed it (Or just want to watch it again. I did. Twice.) over on SexIs Magazine’s Sex Feed. But I wanted to talk about how I feel about this a little bit here.

First, can I just say that if M and I could afford it, I’d have talked Him into taking me to stand outside and cheer as it happened. I’m so excited for all the men and women who want to reenlist, and all the men and women who wanted to enlist and couldn’t. I have no delusions about this being the end of the road. There’s still work to be done, and it will be hard. But this is absolutely a step in the right direction. 

M and I have been talking about DADT a lot since all the craziness with the Senate started. And because M likes to play devil’s advocate, He always brings up a lot of good points that I’ve heard made elsewhere. Points that make you think.

For example, He keeps asking what about the people with a moral objection to homosexuality? Or those that feel showering with a homosexual of the same sex is the same thing as showering with a heterosexual of the opposite sex? Are we, by repealing DADT, saying we don’t give a fuck about them?

Marine Corps General James F. Amos brought up the issue of distraction, and I almost fell over when I read His quotes. I mean, Marines are just… Well! They’re Marines! All “Ooh-ra!” The Few. The Proud. And they’re the best! And even the Navy Seals aren’t as badass as them! And nothing can distract them from the enemy! And if one of them gets hurt or killed it was absolutely a freak accident, because Marines don’t. make. mistakes. And…

But wait… So these few and proud, who are the best, and don’t make mistakes, are going to… suddenly lose sight of all their training, and start fucking up, because they’re too worried about Johnny from back home who just came out? And what’re they worried about? That instead of being worried about the guns aimed at his head, and the bombs going off, Johnny’s gonna, also, lose sight of all of his training in the middle of the battlefield and start trying to play grab ass with all those hot, sweaty, in some cases bloody, gun toting meatheads? Cause along with his training, his sanity went, too? And he doesn’t know that sexual harassment isn’t just between a woman and a man? He probably knows better than most.

To that I say fuck ’em. Fuck those gun toting meatheads who are obviously unprofessional, and have piss-poor training, and who will make mistakes on the battlefield because they’re more concerned with another soldier’s sexuality than they are with the people on the other side of the line who are more concerned with killing them than even their own sexuality, much less the sexuality of the guy helping them kill our Marines.

So much for brotherhood. So much for honor. So much for the code.

A friend of mine mentioned on Twitter, not too long ago, that soldiers are threatening to immediately leave, or, at the very least, if the mass exodus isn’t allowed, leave when their tour is up. And once again, I say fuck ’em. Besides the assholes, how many people do you know who will question or make fun of someone at work for their… anything, much less sexuality? How many people do you know that will intentionally start a conversation about their sex life at work unless they’re really tight with their coworkers?

I don’t count.

Most companies, and most branches of the military frown on relationships built within platoons, departments, whatever. Accidents happen, and usually the couple transfers apart. But if there’s anywhere our troops shouldn’t be trying to forge relationships, regardless their sexual persuasion, it’s in the middle of a war zone.

The whole bathing thing? Ya know, I don’t know. I don’t even know what the bathing situation has been up to this point. And I’m always a little uncomfortable taking a shower with M, and He’s my husband and owner. I’ve never taken a shower in an open locker room. I don’t know that even if I was a size 00 I’d be comfortable taking a shower in an open locker room. Hell, I prefer sex with the lights out. I’ll do whatever freaky shit you wanna do, just turn the fucking lights off.

There have been more than 12,500 men and women discharged under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” in the past seventeen years. All of them will be able to reenlist, and many have already resolved to do so. Not to mention countless others who never enlisted because they preferred being open about who they were to hiding behind a uniform. Maybe we won’t replace the people who can’t, for whatever reason, at least accept that what goes on behind someone else’s closed doors is none of their business right away. But we will eventually. It won’t be the great loss so many of these macho officers and ex-POWs would have us believe.

I… really don’t care about their opinions. They’ve sure as fuck not given a damn about our feelings through all of this. And I know that’s a shit attitude, but it is what it is. Perhaps a better person than me can figure out a suitable option.

What I do know is that even if I weren’t openly bisexual, and I was able to choose, I’d choose the professional, openly gay soldier to defend my country over the one who would allow something like a person’s personal choices to get in the way of their focus. Because from where I sit, the latter won’t just get his (or her) coworkers killed. But once the enemy gets beyond them, they’re coming for me and my freedom. And that, my dear reader, is a problem.

I think our men and women taking up arms in our defense are better than that. I think they know they are, too.

  1. December 22nd, 2010 at 21:20 | #1

    I’ve been facebook arguing about all of this. I have a friend who is saying he’s concerned about the hate crimes/murders whatever that may occur in certain branches of the military after people start coming out. He also kept making sarcastic comments about how he should be able to shower in the women’s locker room if he’s got to have gay guys showering in his locker room (or wherever it is they shower).

    To that I say… where are the outraged and uncomfortable women? I have not seen a single female soldier protesting that they were angry that they might have to share a shower stall with a lesbian. Not a single one. Why are the men the only ones who are squicked out by having to shower with gay men? Also, I can see more practicality in separating the showers based on sex than I can based on sexual orientation. Women have different parts than men and that I can understand. Freaking out because the guy next to you is now openly gay and you’re worried he might look at your penis, when he could have been looking all along while he was secretly gay just makes no sense to me.

  2. December 23rd, 2010 at 15:31 | #2

    @Sarahbear Did you see this video of a gay Congressman’s response to the shower thing? Hilarious.

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