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I was gonna write… Here’s what happened.

January 27th, 2011

I’d intended to write here yesterday. I even have a bunch of topics jotted down. No, really! Here’s what happened:

For some reason, Master decided to look at my Eden Fantasys profile. Which, I mean, whatever. It’s not like I ever hide anything from Him, and I sure as hell wasn’t hiding anything from Him on my Eden Fantasys profile. But I changed it recently to make it more professional, since I’m writing for Sex Is now, and in doing so, removed all evidence of being owned. Unless you go into my reviews or forum threads, that is.

It wasn’t intentional. I wasn’t trolling for cock or pussy. I was just worried that “owned slave” in the most visible part of my profile would cause problems with upper management. No one’s ever suggested as much, I just didn’t want to take the chance.

I’m not sure that part of my profile ever said “owned slave”. I don’t remember exactly what it said.

ANYway, M was annoyed. There are all sorts of people who use the “Sexual Orientation” part of their EF profile to denote relationship status, and He didn’t understand why I didn’t do that.

The honest answer is, I didn’t think of it. I mean “owned slave” and “married” aren’t sexualities… Are they?

So we argued. I was a bitch. My feelings were hurt because, god damn it, things are going really well, right now, and I’ve been pretty damn good, and I just didn’t see why He was taking my profile so personally.

He kept saying things like “If I did that, you’d be pissed.” And you know, I might have. But I felt like He wasn’t just questioning my the lack of relationship status. I felt like He was questioning my loyalty.

I logged off of everything.

I really don’t know why I react that way to arguments with Him. It’s not as if me not being online hurts Him at all. He’s sitting three feet in front of me. He has only to talk to me. And it’s not like we were arguing on the internet, anyway.

I don’t know how we fixed it. Maybe I just started listening to Him, and stopped being a bitch? This morning, He made sure to tell me I needed to behave myself. That it was time to start acting like a slave, and not a wife. And then I taunted Him into fucking me. Sort of.

He was just gonna cuddle with me, but I started play-resisting. He’d reach for my nipple, and I’d put my teddy bear in front of it. He’d grab my arm, and I’d try to yank it away. So He positioned Himself in such a way that He could pin me to the bed, and still be comfortable.

Then… He asked if I needed to be beat.

And I nodded! God, yes, did I ever need to be beat. Still do. Want to go over there, right now, and get in His face, and make Him knock me down. But neither of us is ready for that kind of scene yet. Trust that when we are, I’ll step up to the plate.

Right now, I’m just hoping to taunt Him into fucking me again. I love having Him inside of me.

<3

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