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#LadyPornDay: My Porn Experience

February 22nd, 2011

Did you hear? Today is #LadyPornDay. Rachel Rabbit White (whose name I am completely infatuated with… not to mention that adorable face) started it, and it’s taking the blogosphere by storm. What’s it about? From Rachel’s page:

At it’s heart, this is about celebrating pornography and masturbation. It is an opportunity for ladies of all genders (or however you identify) to open up a dialog: What is feminist porn? What is your history with porn? What do you find hot? And ultimately it’s a dare to share your hot links. Because the more we can openly talk about porn and what we like, the more likely it is that porn for women will continue being made. And really guys have been sharing and recommending porn for ages! So help a sister out.

I don’t review a lot of porn. I have some that I need to review. The company’s probably written it off as a bad investment. Soon. Maybe this weekend.

We haven’t really bought any porn in a while, either. The last time we went out to an adult store, or something, and picked out a flick or two from the giant bin in the middle of the fluorescent lights and CalExotics toys was 2004, and even though we went for things that should have been right up our alley, they bombed. I console myself with the fact that we fully intend to subscribe to Kink.com in the very near future, and we watch a lot of clips on a lot of the hubs. That’s a money thing. Some of the sites we’d like to pay to belong to are too expensive.

We don’t really watch as much porn as we used to, but that’s a time thing, and not a lack of desire. Hell, I’d join Eden Fantasys’s Porn Club if I thought I had the time to review the porn flicks they offer. But I really don’t.

But that doesn’t mean we don’t both love it.

I love what porn has done for M and me. There are nights we sit on the couch for hours masturbating, and fucking, and watching each other, and the screen. We get some of our best scene ideas, sex positions, and humiliation techniques from porn. M watches my reaction to whatever we’re watching, and finds ways to tailor things he enjoys my reaction to to fit our interests and needs.

Hell, one of the best things that ever happened to our relationship was a night of porn and mutual masturbation. It’s really awesome being comfortable sitting next to someone in a room, completely naked, watching porn, and handling each other’s needs however you both feel like it. It connected us in a way that I can’t describe. Allowed me to open up to him in a way I wasn’t sure was possible.

But that wasn’t always our way. We used to watch it separately, and only on occasion. And before that, the only porn I was really interested in wasn’t visual. It was written. I read a lot of erotica, and a couple romance novels.

I’m glad things have gone the way they have.

My first experience with a porn video was Skinemax, one night when I wanted to be at home, but instead, we were all visiting my dad. I didn’t masturbate, and I couldn’t begin to tell you what was on the screen. I don’t remember. But I do remember liking what I saw.

The next porn flick I saw, though, I couldn’t stop laughing long enough to take the sex seriously.

Remember Gremlins? Remember how you couldn’t get the Mogwai wet or they’d multiply? Yeah… The movie was called “Don’t Get Them Wet”, and the opening scene was a guy bringing home a life-sized female “doll” that reproduced if you got it wet. If you got its vagina wet. And of course they did. And it reproduced. And the dolls were all, obviously, ridiculously horny, and ready to fuck.

I’m pretty sure my ex ended up jacking off in the room alone. I found something more productive to do.

M and I? We get into just about anything. A lot of kink. A lot of mainstream porn. A lot of orgies. A lot of anal. Some feminist porn, but not all.

But you know… There’s nothing wrong with that. You don’t have to like feminist porn to support a woman’s right to pornography she’s interested in, or to be who she wants to be, or to be equal to men, or however it is you define your feminism.

Degradation and domination turn me on. Threesomes in any variation as long as the girls are obviously into it, and not just fucking each other for a paycheck. That shit bores me like I can’t describe. And really, that’s the extent of my requirements. Everybody must be enjoying it. It’s no fun, if they’re not.

What about you? What kinds of porn do you like? Do you have any requirements? Come join the conversation! 🙂

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