Shit I Did on Other People’s Websites – The New Year Edition
There hasn’t been one of these in a while. I’ve been too busy to really write here, much less round up everything I’ve done everywhere else. But there’s a couple things I’d like to share with you, so here’s some shit I did last year, and some shit I’ve done this year. Most recent first.
On January 4th, SexFeed reported on a line of Legos for little girls.
It started with a bit of research. Lego dedicated four years to learning all about little girls and what they expect from their building blocks. And what they came up with might surprise you. Or not. I wasn’t overly surprised.
Turns out, little girls love Legos. They even get sponsored by the Girl Scouts to compete in building contests (and win!) and help build robots instead of houses. This is nothing we didn’t know already. Hell, my favorite toy, growing up, was a 2,000 piece Lego set. Tomboys like me aren’t so much rare, but we are one of many exceptions to the female stereotype. When it comes right down to it, the creative interests of little girls, in most cases, are very different from those of little boys.
I came out to my dad this weekend.
I didn’t mean to. It just sort of happened.
His mouth found mine and he pushed His tongue inside. His fingers followed his tongue, plunging inside my pussy, exploring, thrusting. I gasped, mouth open wide, and He covered my mouth with His and pushed His tongue in again. Then He almost effortlessly rolled me on top of Him and slid inside me.
I’ve got a trip to visit my dad in sixteen days. While I’m there, I will be meeting my stepmother, my 5-year-old niece, my step-siblings and all my step-nieces and nephews for the very first time, and watching my father marry someone who isn’t my mother all in the space of a day and a half. And I have to wear a dress.
If you know me even a little bit, you’ve got an idea of what’s going on in my head right now. Every time I think about it, I get nauseous.
Okay, only one of my exes lives in Texas. The only one who ever has any sort of influence anymore. Because we have kids. That’s the only reason. And he pretends he avoids it at all costs. It’s not his fault that him fucking up his life affects me. It’s pure circumstance. He thinks.
All M’s influential exes live within a two hour drive. And despite the fact that they do everything in their power to keep him supporting them fully while refusing him access to his children, they still manage to somehow weasel their way into our lives. Proof positive is the fact that I’m writing about exes today, and not something more fun, like kinky sex or the awesome new LELO vibrator I got yesterday.
–Relationships in Eureka Rock! (Spoilers)–
I miss this show so much!
It’s one of those quirky dramas like Chuck or Pushing Daisies that can be viewed by just about anyone. There’s no strong language and most of the explosions are by sheer accident. Genius + technology, in this case, means lots of wayward laser beams, invisible cars and a few jokes that are way, way over my head.
But their relationship development is what makes me grin. Eureka’s writers found ways to step outside of societal norms and make the way things developed for each couple perfectly okay, if a little outlandish.
First of all, “If you can take a dick you can take a joke.”? Really? What does that even mean? Should all us gay and bisexual men and hetero and bisexual women tread lightly around you heterosexual men cause y’all can’t take a joke? Or are we still pretending we’re talking about free speech here?
You’re right, T.I. Everyone has the right to their own opinion regardless of what I think about it. But while we’re touting Tracy Morgan’s right to an opinion, how about you stand up for mine? I’ll leave you alone if you leave me alone? I’m cool with that.
The next few might be a little tame for you lot. But here’s what I’ve written so far for the radio station!
So, you wanna drive your lover wild. You want to wriggle between their brain crinkles into their sexual psyche so deep just the thought of you makes them blush with desire and tremble with anticipation in the middle of the day while they’re doing dishes or some other mundane thing. Who doesn’t? There’s not much that’s more exciting than knowing you turn someone on.
It’s not difficult. A delicious game of cat and mouse that begins with a tawdry glance and leads you right to heaven’s gates.
I did not tell BJ to call me that. I’ve never claimed to be more than a slut who really enjoys sex. You guys probably already know most of what’s there. But feel free to click anyway!
So first things first. What exactly are you trying to achieve? Are you hoping for blast off at halftime, or just some titillating torment leading up to something explicit after the final play? The two may take you down very different roads due to the speed with which you’ll pursue them. Either way, one thing’s for sure. In some cases, just springing something like this on your football fan might agitate them more than arouse them. Some of us are fickle that way. So ask ‘em if it’s something they’d be interested in, but keep some details for yourself.
I was raised with the NFL. My dad’s a good ol’ boy from West Texas and my grandfather was a business man from South Jersey, so family get-togethers scheduled during Cowboys v. Eagles games got pretty stressful.
Me? I’m a Saints fan. One of my earliest memories is dancing around the den in a black and gold jersey that hung down to my ankles. I spent last Sunday afternoon curled up naked on the couch with my man, tossing back Buds and watching them wipe their feet with the Carolina Panthers. Who dat?!
Sadly, not everybody’s as cool as me. Just a few minutes on Twitter’ll tell you that. There are a few Significant Others (SOs) who’re pretty bummed by the start of the Playoffs. Grumblings of, “There goes the next four weekends. X will be glued to the TV till the Super Bowl’s over.” and “Probably won’t be able to watch the Playoffs. Y hates football.” can be heard throughout the nation’s timeline. So how’s about some quick (and a few dirty!) tips to get you to the Super Bowl and beyond with the SO you were with when they started? For both sides of the equation.
That’s it for today. I plan to bring you guys a fun round of other people’s shit just as soon as I can find the time. In the meantime, check out my (seriously out of date) blogroll down there at the bottom of the sidebar for some great blogs to check out. And a few other awesome sites that aren’t blogs, as well!