Home > rayne > And then, I apologized.

And then, I apologized.

CorsetChainWe’ve pretty much jumped back into the whole owner/property thing with both feet, as is usually our way. And as is usually my way, I had to kick the fence the second he closed the gate behind me.

What? You didn’t think I’d changed that much while I was (kind of) away, did you?

The fucked up thing is I wasn’t even mad at him. I was mad at the situation. And I took it out on him because that’s what I do. 

In my defense, it’s totally his fault. I mean, if he didn’t let me take my frustrations out on him, I wouldn’t do it! Right? Right. 

That is so too a defense! Shut up.

The stupid thing is *I* was the one that set me off. I was futzing around with something we’d just picked up at the store, and I dropped it. A piece of it shot off in the direction of the refrigerator and just…disappeared. I pulled out the fridge, and ripped apart the stove, and examined every nook and cranny in the kitchen to no avail, so I decided to try to tilt the fridge and see if it was stuck underneath.

When it became painfully obvious I was not going to be able to lift the fridge and look under it (I thought maybe I could hold the front up with my shoulder…shut up), and M didn’t stop what he was doing right-the-fuck-now and help me, I FREAKED OUT. Like, seriously. Not on him, though he was the one I was yelling to. Everything I was yelling was aimed at myself. But I did snap some dumb thing at him when he was chastising me for dropping our new toy.

When he finally did get a free minute to come help me, it turned out I was right. The piece was magnetic, and it stuck to the metal bottom of the fridge. We got it out, the day was saved, and we both calmed down when we realized our new toy wasn’t broken.

And then, I apologized. No matter which way you slice it, I was wrong. And if I’m going to do this o/p thing right, part of that is admitting I’m wrong and making amends.

Of course, M took this as his cue to snatch me up by the hair and remind me of my place. And with his cock buried in my throat, he asked if I thought I could run my mouth. The Jackboot Paddle came out. That motherfucker hurts, so of course, I love it.

It wasn’t so much punishment as discipline. Punishment is kinda a moot point with me because it all turns me on. Except writing lines. I hate writing lines. But I love the act of writing, and that love cancels out the hatred of being forced to do something so mind-numbingly stupid.

Later, I thanked him for reminding me of my place. It’s something I’ve needed for a while now (“You need that more often than I do it.”). And it felt good to have him notice that I needed him to yank up on the leash and react accordingly. To recognize the fact that he’s still him, and I’m still me, and we still fit together so well that we don’t even think twice about just falling into the roles we need to play for each other.


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  1. March 24th, 2013 at 22:20 | #1

    Rayne: And then, I apologized.: We’ve pretty much jumped back into the whole owner/property thing with … http://t.co/hQ7sJYXjtj #slave

  2. April 9th, 2013 at 05:14 | #2

    I have a Jackboot paddle. I haven’t dared to use it yet – I just get it out and sniff it (it smells so good) and think about the marks it’ll leave …

    Your post may have inspired me to change that 🙂

    xx Dee

  3. April 10th, 2013 at 09:44 | #3

    @Curvaceous Dee You should. It rocks. ~nods~ And it does smell awesome, doesn’t it?

  4. July 3rd, 2013 at 20:53 | #4

    I really liked this post. I totally understand the need for someone to just remind me of my place. I push boundaries and I need to have them tightened quite often.

  5. July 8th, 2013 at 10:49 | #5

    @TheSinDoll I’m the same way. Thanks for the comment. 🙂

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