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Product Review: Neon Wand Electrosex Kit by KinkLab

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Ooo, what’s that?

WomanIf there’s one thing Master and I have learned over the years, it’s that electricity and me? We don’t mix.

No. Really.

Since Master and I got together, I have electrocuted myself with a refrigerator, shorted out the entire electrical system on M’s car, blown up a microwave (maybe two? Neither of us can remember for sure), and made an electric stove shoot green fire at me. I have no idea how I managed that one.

So, of course we needed a bdsm toy that shoots electricity at me. I mean, if the appliances get to do it, Master should be able to do it, too, right? Right.

Enter JT’s Stockroom and their kickass KinkLab line, and suddenly, electricity around me doesn’t seem so daunting. The toy the lovely latex-clad lady is holding is the KinkLab Neon Wand Electrosex Kit. And let me tell you…I was pretty freakin scared of it till M tied me down.

What’d it come in?

boxSnazzy box, right? No naked ladies or anything! But you can still tell what’s inside, so open your package away from prying eyes and nosy neighbors.

It’s made of sturdy cardboard, which means it’s recyclable if you decide not to use it for storage. We do use it for storage because I am clumsy. Those electrodes are made of glass, and they’ve got some special gas in them, and holy shit, I’d break them in an instant if it weren’t for the nifty foam insert inside the box.

So, you know, get a lock for your closet, clean off some space on the shelf, and keep the box. It’s just safer.

How’s it made?

SleeveThe electricity comes in two colors; red and purple. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a purple nut, and M’s pretty partial to purple himself. So we’ve got purple.

The wand’s about the size of the handle of the average flogger in diameter, and not much longer until you put an electrode in. I was really nervous about how you place the electrodes, at first, because I have a tendency to push too hard when inserting attachments into bodies like this.

Pun not intended and I’m totally not talking about inserting dildos into vaginas. I’m really good at that. It’s cuz I have a vagina and I know what feels good when inserting dildos into vaginas.

I can’t think of any other things I’ve used with attachments that slide in like that, but I’ve got distinct memories of putting a glass tube into something, and then having to turn it to get it to light up, and I always pushed too hard and broke the thing. I can’t remember what it was to save my life, so nobody come hold a gun to my head and ask, okay?

The Neon Wand is not that difficult to put together, and the electrodes feel substantial. I’m not the least bit worried that I’m going to break them when I put it together…which is rare. Master does the zapping in this house. I just like to finger all the toys before writing about them.

From the site (AKA Why Neon instead of Violet?):

  • The Neon Wand is a solid-state device with no moving parts inside, which makes it possible to move and change the angle without distracting interruptions or unexpected variations in the output. Solid-state often prove more durable over time as well.
  • Compact, lightweight handset: traditional electric ray handsets are heavy and bulky. The Neon Wand is light and easy to handle, allowing you to focus on your partner and your play.
  • Lower maximum settings: at its highest setting, the Neon Wand will produce an intense sensation, but it does not quite reach the sometimes painful levels that traditional electric ray wands can. This makes it the perfect choice for intermediate and advanced users who prefer using electric ray wands in a more sensual manner, while it is safer and more accessible for beginners.
  • Extra long power cord: 8 foot cord is 2 full feet longer than similar devices.

I’d just like to add to the list of reasons that the Neon Wand is way, WAY cheaper than the Violet Wand. The cheapest Violet on Stockroom’s site is $599. The Neon’s only $150.

What’s it for?

Sensual electric sex. Trace your lover’s rump. Tease it over their nipples. Shock their tongue. It’s safe enough to use anywhere on the body.

On the higher settings, and with the right electrode, it can be a little painful, but not overly so. Basically, it’s an S&M couple’s dream, unless you’ve already tried electrosex, and you’re looking for something more painful. In that case, I’d urge you to pick up a Violet Wand. I hear that baby leaves marks.

How is it?

electrodes

Rayne’s Rating:
Pros: Cons:
safe
silicone sleeve
pretty purple lightning bolts
extremely versatile
sturdy
tons of fun electrodes
great introduction to electrosex
a bit of a learning curve
a little weak for those into
more painful sensations

When M’s oldest was 15ish, she was fighting with her mother pretty often, so she came to live with us for a while. We had this old, crappy refrigerator with a metal ice box that frosted over all the time. I’m talking in a week’s time, there’d be three inches of ice on all sides. We were lucky to be able to store a week’s worth of food in there because the second it started frosting over, the food would start to get freezer burned.

When M’s kid was at the house, I started defrosting the freezer less because it was a pain in the ass to do anything with her in the house. She was like a 4yo with her need to constantly be up your ass, but unlike a 4yo in that there was absolutely no way to distract her long enough to get anything done. So by the time Master finally got sick of having to slam the freezer to get the door to close, there was barely enough room in there for a pack of ground beef and a couple chicken breasts.

I didn’t want to be there all day, so I grabbed a metal spatula and started chipping away at the slowly melting ice. I didn’t want to lose any food (the fridge got hot quickly when it wasn’t on…in hindsight, there was probably a busted seal), so I didn’t unplug the fridge. Naturally, I managed to puncture the back of the fridge exactly where the coolant tube was located, and coolant started spraying out all over the place.

Here’s where it starts to get really stupid.

So I’m standing there, barefoot, soaking wet from head to toe, coolant spraying out into my face, and I decide I need to unplug the fridge to be safe.

…to be safe, y’all.

To be safe, I step into a puddle on the floor, pull out the fridge, grab the plug with wet, bare hands, and yank. My fingers slipped off the plug and closed around a piece of bare wire we had no clue existed. Electricity shot up my arm, across my chest, and out my right eye socket, zapping the metal on the back of the fridge.

I screamed. M’s daughter came running out of her bedroom just in time to see the light show. I have no idea where Master was. I remember him yelling, “What happened?” and his daughter yelling back, “Electricity shot out of Rayne’s eye!” It was tons of fun. Especially the trip to the ER, at which point I learned that it was possible I had fried meat inside my arm, and if it didn’t heal on its own, I might need surgery.

One thing’s for sure. The Neon Wand is not as painful as electrocuting yourself with a refrigerator. That is so too a relevant benchmark.

Master absolutely loves this thing. He couldn’t stop talking about it for days the first time we tried it.

It takes a bit of planning for us because of how our room is laid out, and has a bit of a learning curve. Like, you have to figure out the best distance to hold the tip from the skin, and learn what you can and can’t do while wearing it. Especially with the Power Tripper (review coming).

For example, when Master’s wearing the Power Tripper, he has to be careful not to lean against me anywhere, or it doesn’t work. Blow jobs are intricately choreographed so that he can get the full effect.

These things are to be expected, though. I mean, you’re playing with electricity, and every body’s different. Of course there’s a learning curve. I only mention it so that you know you’re not gonna take it out of the box and be perfect at it. It won’t be long, though, before your Neon Wand technique brings all the bottoms to the yard.

I love it, too. In a scene write-up, I described it like this:

When he pulled out the Neon Wand, I heard it. It snapped and crackled as he ran it over his own skin a couple times before applying it to mine.

Then I felt it. Barely there, at first. The whisper of a static shock, as if I’d dragged my feet on the carpet and touched the doorknob. And then it felt like needles stabbing into the bits he was shocking. Then it started to burn. Not as much as a cigarette touching the skin, but close to a cigarette being held a little bit off the skin. And I got wetter.

It was pretty spectacular laying there while he zapped me all over. He made me hold my tongue out for him, and shocked it till it quivered and shook. He liked that part. I can’t wait to play with it again.

I didn’t need surgery, by the way. In fact, the next day my arm felt fine. I’ve yet to unplug anything with wet hands again, though. You only have to learn that lesson once, ya know?

Anything else I should know?

FingerHell yeah!

Don’t operate the Neon Wand near water. Take off all your metal so the electricity goes where you’re aiming, and doesn’t shoot off all willy nilly toward fingers and eyebrows. Talk to a physician before playing with the Neon Wand if you have any condition that could be worsened with electricity (heart murmur, etc.). DO NOT use this toy if any part of your body is regulated with internal man-made electricity (e.g. pacemaker).

The silicone sleeve is boilable and/or bleachable, though I’m not sure why you’d need to. Maybe if someone with super sweaty hands uses your Neon Wand?

Washing the electrodes is a snap. Detach them from the wand itself. Wash them with non-abrasive anti-bacterial soap and water. Being glass, you can bleach them, but I’d probably not boil them or run them through the dishwasher to be safe. They do sell the pieces separately, but it’d be a damn shame to break them.

Speaking of pieces sold separately, there are all sorts of other electrodes you can buy for this wand. M’s favorite is the Power Tripper, because it turns the wearer into the electrode. He says there’s something really sexy about sending little purple lightning bolts into my clit with his tongue.

There’s also the Heart-On, the Roller, the Coiled Probe, and the Probe. We haven’t tried any of those, but I’m thinking we might real soon.

Where’d ya get it?

Stockroom provided the Neon Wand to us free of charge in exchange for an honest review. JT’s Stockroom was founded in 1988 by Joel Tucker (JT), a kinky college kid on a budget who just wanted quality leather cuffs that fit his budget and couldn’t find them. So he took up leatherwork and made his own (along with some other restraints), and then later started selling them on BBSes (pre-internet bulletin boards) while making them out of his bedroom. Now they’re known around the world, having been featured in Playboy’s Foursome, ABC’s Castle, and, of course, FX’s American Horror Story.

JT’s Stockroom has won multiple awards from AVN and XBiz. At their store in Los Angeles, they host monthly classes called Stockroom University, and they donate products in support of the BDSM community for things like events and non-profit fundraisers.

jtskirt

  1. November 20th, 2013 at 00:41 | #1

    Wow Rayne! Great review, and crazy scary story!!!! Nuts.. I’m actually at a loss for words.

  2. November 21st, 2013 at 08:22 | #2

    @ mr. will It was pretty messed up. We crack up about it, now, though.

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