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30 Days of Kink: “Anonymous” Defines Their Kinky Self

30 Days of KinkFor the Cheer Melen Up Without Hurting His Back Giveaway, we offered bonus entries for the social media prize to people who defined their kinky selves for the 30 Days of Kink project. Here’s an anonymous entry we received. We love it.

Discovering my kinky self is going hand in hand with discovering my sexual self. In fact, a big part of discovering my sexuality has been realizing that I’m a bit kinky. It’s possible that these things will change as I learn and experience more, but thus far these things define my kinky self.

1) My kinky self is conflicted.

Every new act of kink I discover is greeted by my cautiousness and my curiosity fighting. I wonder what it would feel like, but I worry about the dangers. I shy away from the words because some of them hurt, but I want to know what they mean all the same. I’m constantly asking questions and letting the information seep into my fantasies. With each act I’m exposed to I become increasingly inquisitive about it, until one day I’m no longer intimidated. I think over everything I do before I try it. Is this bad? I’m not yet sure.

2) My kinky self is shy.

When I’m aroused I want to hide in the dark, beneath blankets and pillows, close my legs so the smell of my hormones won’t fill the room, and clench my PC muscles so my thighs don’t get wet. Still, the desire always overcomes the embarrassment. As we make love and my eloquence flees, I blush at the sounds I make, I’m shocked by the things I think. I whisper what I want, embarrassed at how needy I sound, but the neediness makes me ask anyway. I hold back until I can’t anymore, and when it’s over I’m amazed at myself and burying my flushed face in a pillow.

3) My kinky self is reverent.

The human body is a remarkable machine, and an endlessly amusing plaything. I love my partner’s body and I’m sure to let him know. I’ll spend hours admiring and enjoying one part of his body at a time. Whether my target is his ears, butt, chest, legs, or back, my affection is enthusiastic and thorough. I whisper to him how beautiful he is, how honored I am that he shares his self with me this way. Watching his face as he orgasms for me is one of the most spiritual things I’ve ever witnessed. I say “Thank you,” a lot.

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