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NS(K)Q: Q45 – How long should I wait?

January 9th, 2015 2 comments

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 45:

So, I’m pretty new to the community. I’ve been attending local munches for a few months and just recently went to my first play party. I played for the first time with a guy I had met casually at the previous munches. It was amazing and he was great. My issue is I want to play with him again and while he did say he would like to play again we just left it there. How long should I wait to ask him to play again? Should I wait for him to bring it up or wait until we meet up again at a munch or play party?

So the important thing to remember is kinky dating (or play partnering, as the case may be) is just like vanilla dating. I’m sure that, just like with everything else, some people have a million and one “rules” for kinky dating, but I’ve always been one to buck the system. This whole thing is supposed to be consensual, and based on what all parties involved want and need, so from where I sit, all that matters is what you’re comfortable with. Read more…

Kinktionary: Bondage

January 9th, 2015 1 comment

Daniele Devoti / flickr

Daniele Devoti / flickr

One of the words referenced in the acronym “BDSM“.

The consensual restriction of a person’s movement.

Most bondage enthusiasts use rope to bind their “victims”, but you can use just about anything, from leather to steel.

Always check in with your “victim.” Keep an eye on their limbs for discoloration, numbness, or extreme cold as these could be signs of loss of circulation. Be sure to keep an extra key, or a pair of safety scissors nearby in case of emergency.

Got a suggestion for our Kinktionary? Leave it in comments or email it to rayne@insatiabledesire.com with “Kinktionary” in the subject!