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Kinktionary: Outing

January 14th, 2016 Comments off

So kink is kind of like Alcoholics Anonymous, in that you can talk about your involvement in kink, and you can talk abstractly about other people involved in kink, but you can never, ever tell anyone anything that would give away the identities of other people involved in kink. No one. Not any one. Not your mom, or your best friend, or your doctor, or your therapist, or your priest, or your lawyer (unless it pertains to a case you’re involved in). Not even other kinksters. Here’s why:

Unfortunately, society is still stuck on sexual taboos. Who knows where they came from or why they exist? We have a lot of guesses, and some are completely logical, but ultimately, the only thing we know for sure is at one point in our world’s history, sex was something people cherished and adored and talked about openly, and now, it is not.

Even worse are taboos surrounding “deviant sex,” or sexual behavior that steps outside of generally accepted norms. BDSM falls under that heading. And people are so incredibly terrified of people who have deviant sex (or so we assume…I mean, why else would we be persecuted so hard?) that asinine shit has been known to happen, like losing the rights to parent one’s children, losing one’s job, losing one’s home. So we keep our identities secret.

Informing Person A about Person B’s involvement with kink without Person B’s consent is called “outing”. And it’s a total dick move, bro.

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