NS(K)Q: Q70 – How do I know?

January 23rd, 2017 No comments

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 70:

I do a lot of dating site dating. It’s just as much of a clusterfuck as you can imagine. It’s like people on dating sites think other dating site users are just sex dolls waiting around to pleasure them. And the dick pics! Ohhh the dick pics. Don’t these boys know that if we want to look at their dicks, we’ll ask? Anyway…this is how I found BDSM. One of the profiles I was looking at mentioned it, and I googled it, and now I’m really intrigued. But I don’t know what, exactly, I’m intrigued by. Like, do I want to be a domme or a sub? Do I want to be spanked or do the spanking? I DON’T KNOW!!! So that’s my question. How do I know?

The simple answer is trial and error. Read more…

#SunnySunday Ballet Slippers

January 22nd, 2017 No comments

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If it weren’t for bad luck…

January 20th, 2017 1 comment

Last week was absolute hell. It extended into this week, and I 100% wanted to shoot someone.

Okay. That’s a lie. I never actually want to shoot someone. Or stab someone. Or punch someone (unless they punched me first). I should probably stop saying it.

It started with the propane/oil company. I called them on Thursday (1/5) to set up a tank fill because we were on 1/8 of a tank. I probably shouldn’t have waited that long, but we have 30 days to pay the bill, and we knew it would be a lot of money that we wouldn’t be able to pay until M got paid, so we wanted to make sure we’d have plenty of time.

When I called, the lady was all, “Oh, you need a fill soon! I’ll get that set up and we’ll be over in a couple of days.” Then the temperature dipped below 0 a couple of times over the weekend, and suddenly, it was Monday, and we were on E and they still hadn’t showed up. So I called again. And she started lecturing me about keeping a close eye on my tank like she hadn’t told me on Thursday that she would get someone out there immediately to fill it.

They offered to “try to fit you in” on Tuesday, and they managed, but by that time, the tank was empty, and we were trying to heat our house with space heaters. Read more…

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Kinktionary: Fetish

January 18th, 2017 No comments

The Shoes Come Off on elaisted.com

In the vanilla world, though most have a cursory knowledge of the kink realm, the word “fetish” is often used tongue-in-cheek to describe something a person is really into. Not necessarily sexual things. I’ve heard people say they have a fetish for a color, or a fetish for a certain kind of coffee, or a fetish for a game.

Merriam-Webster defines “fetish” thusly:

  • an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion
  • an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression

However, a fetish isn’t always necessary for sexual gratification. Many foot fetishists, for example, can achieve orgasm and enjoy sex without including their partner’s feet. The sex is just that much better if the fetish is included.

A fetish is different from a paraphilia in that fetishes can be healthy, and paraphilias are not.

Got a suggestion for our Kinktionary? Leave it in comments or email it to rayne@insatiabledesire.com with “Kinktionary” in the subject!

NS(K)Q: Q69 – Disappearing Mistress

January 16th, 2017 No comments

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 69:

Recently, my mistress and I went from d/s to m/s. I’ve never been a slave before, but I thought I’d give it a shot. Problem is, now that I’m a “slave,” she just up and disappears for weeks without giving me any indication of where she’s going, or how long she’ll be gone. Or she’ll tell me she’s going to the store, and show back up at my house three days later. She doesn’t call, or take/return my calls while she’s gone. Is this normal? Because I don’t know if I can be a slave if this is normal.

No, this is not normal.

Being the M in a M/s relationship does not absolve a body of responsibility to the s in the relationship.

Imma say it again for the people in the back.

Being the M in a M/s relationship does not absolve a body of responsibility to the s in the relationship. Read more…

#SunnySunday That Makeup Though

January 15th, 2017 No comments

As I mentioned before, I’m learning to do my makeup. I used to only wear black eyeliner, black mascara, and champagne-ish eyeshadow. No foundation, no lipstick or gloss, no blush…nada.

In this picture, I’m wearing BB cream, blush, highlighter, contour, brown glitter eyeliner, brown and cream eyeshadow (that you can’t really see because my brow bone ate my eyelids), black/brown mascara, and my new favorite red lipstick that made me realize that the reason I hate the way I look in red lipstick is because I hadn’t found a shade I liked (plus some magic that makes your makeup stay in place). That one is Revlon Colorstay Ultimate Suede in Backstage 035, and it’s glorious. Stays put. Doesn’t completely dry my lips. Looks amazing on me.

I need to pick up concealer, and try some actual foundations, but I’m really in love with the BB cream I’ve been using, too. Matches my skin perfectly and makes it look almost flawless.

Can you tell I’m having fun with this?

Who the fuck am I and what did I do with the real me?

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