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Posts Tagged ‘bondage’

Kinktionary: Paraphilia

January 25th, 2017 No comments

A paraphilia is an unhealthy obsession with an object, behavior, or sexual act, usually involving another person’s psychological or physical distress. Often socially unacceptable behavior or “sexual deviance” are categorized as paraphilias. Some paraphilias can be vary dangerous, while others are deemed unacceptable based on society’s ever changing moral code. Though many resources have not updated their definitions (like Merriam-Webster, for example), masochism and sadism are no longer considered paraphilas by those in the mental health field. Some things that are still included are cannibalism, sexual assault, pedophilia, snuff, and bestiality.

Paraphilias are not to be confused with fetishes.

Got a suggestion for our Kinktionary? Leave it in comments or email it to rayne@insatiabledesire.com with “Kinktionary” in the subject!

Categories: Kinktionary Tags:

NS(K)Q: Q70 – How do I know?

January 23rd, 2017 No comments

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 70:

I do a lot of dating site dating. It’s just as much of a clusterfuck as you can imagine. It’s like people on dating sites think other dating site users are just sex dolls waiting around to pleasure them. And the dick pics! Ohhh the dick pics. Don’t these boys know that if we want to look at their dicks, we’ll ask? Anyway…this is how I found BDSM. One of the profiles I was looking at mentioned it, and I googled it, and now I’m really intrigued. But I don’t know what, exactly, I’m intrigued by. Like, do I want to be a domme or a sub? Do I want to be spanked or do the spanking? I DON’T KNOW!!! So that’s my question. How do I know?

The simple answer is trial and error. Read more…

#SunnySunday Rope and 17 Minutes

January 8th, 2017 No comments

M wasn’t feeling well yesterday, so he took a long bath. While he was in the tub, I set my timer, put Halestorm on shuffle, and got on the elliptical.

When my fifteen minutes were up, my feet were sore, but not like they usually are, so I decided to go to the end of the song. Ended up putting me at 17 minutes. Probably a little over, because the song was three minutes and 37 seconds long, and it came on at about 14 minutes. So tomorrow the timer gets set to 17 minutes. Maybe I’ll make this goal after all.

When M got out of the bath, he ordered me into the shower, and told me to put on some makeup when I got out.

This makeup thing is really weird, but I’m having fun. He’s never cared if I wore makeup before. Red lipstick and nail polish now and again, but that’s it. Now that I have a bunch of makeup, thanks to a friend who sent me a giant box of makeup around Christmas, it’s, like, a thing.

“Go put on some makeup so I can ruin it.”

I know this is a known fetish, as fetishes go, it’s just not one he’s really expressed before.

I know wearing makeup is considered “looking one’s best” in some circles, but I don’t really buy into that. Never really have. Plus, I don’t feel like I look my best when I’m wearing makeup. Not all the time, anyway. Sometimes it looks downright awful.

Turns out, that’s because I have no idea how to put it on. Imagine that.

ANYway…rope!

He’s ALSO been tying me up more. This is not really a thing he’s ever done much of. Mostly, it’s been leather (or Vondage, as the case may be) bondage. Cuffs and locks.

I really like rope. Really, really. Like, a lot. Is making me soooo happy. =D

When you open a gift from a friend and know instantly that they get you.

A photo posted by Rayne Millaray (@rayne_millaray) on

Categories: #SunnySunday Tags:

Review Preview: Vondage by Stockroom.com

July 12th, 2016 No comments

Screen Shot 2016-07-12 at 9.18.59 AMThis is not a review. I repeat: This is not a review! It’s a review preview! The review will come later. I promise.

I don’t think I’ve ever done this before. Probably because I don’t remember ever being this impressed.

This is Vondage, a fully vegan bondage set by Stockroom.com. And I am absolutely gaga over the cuffs. So gaga that I just had to tell you all about them, rtfn.

I received the entire Vondage set (wrist cuffs, ankle cuffs, collar, leash, hogtie strap, blindfold–sold separately) on July 6th, and I literally haven’t taken the cuffs off except to do things that involve my hands and food or harsh chemicals. Or if we’re leaving the house, cuz it’s shorts weather, and I’m pretty sure my neighbors would lose their shit if they saw me walking around in locking black leather-looking cuffs.

Aside from wearing them constantly, I haven’t used them enough, yet, to write a full out review, but I can say that, as a 24/7 bondage tool, Vondage is #1 on my list.

Yep. You read right. #1. Read more…

Happy birthday to me! Here’s a giveaway for you!

April 6th, 2016 4 comments

Rayne's Birthday Giveaway

It’s my birthday, and I’ll give stuff away if I want to!

Seriously, though, today is my birthday. I’m thirty-six, today, and I’m so stupidly excited about it because it’s the sixth and six times six is thirty-six. We all have our quirks, I guess.

I’m actually pretty excited about getting older. I made a promise to M to grow old with him, and every birthday marks another year I’ve kept that promise.

There have been an insane amount of technological advances, from the size of our phones, to the way we treat fatal illnesses. We’ve still got a long way to go, but pretty much everything about how society works has changed during my thirty-six years. I’m really excited to see what else we come up with as I age.

I have a son in the National Guard, a daughter who was accepted into a school for smart kids, and a child who recently came out as pansexual and gender fluid. I’m rebuilding my relationship with my mother, understanding that I’m never going to change my father (who has made a liar out of me and decided that he will, in fact, vote for Trump if he’s the Republican nominee), and realizing that I don’t have to like my family’s politics to love them. I’m actually taking an interest in my health, and doing things that I would have previously let my anxiety keep me from doing. Read more…

Categories: Giveaways Tags:

NS(K)Q: Q63 – I have a disability. Can I BDSM?

March 11th, 2016 1 comment

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 63:

I’ve been interested in kink for a while. I finally got up the courage to poke around on Fetlife and see if I could find someone I’d be interested in playing with, and pretty quickly found a potential partner. But then I told him that I have a physical disability, and he told me that I can’t participate in kink. Without disclosing too much of my medical history, I can tell you that my disability doesn’t limit my day-to-day activities, but does limit the amount of time I can be bound before I find myself in excruciating pain. I know this from experiments with self bondage. But I still want to pursue BDSM. Can I do that, or is it somehow against the rules?

Honey, you can do whatever the fuck you want with your body, and don’t let anybody tell you any different.

But stay away from that guy because he obviously isn’t comfortable with playing with someone with a disability. I mean, maybe he could be, eventually, with some patience and practice. But it doesn’t sound like he wants to go through all that, and really, that’s his right. It’s shitty, and sort of ableist, but…I mean, do you really want to be topped by someone who doesn’t want to top you? I don’t.

And probably, you weren’t even considering trying to talk that guy into topping you, anyway. It just needed to be said in case someone in a similar situation is trying to talk someone into topping them. Read more…