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Posts Tagged ‘dominant’

NS(K)Q: Q70 – How do I know?

January 23rd, 2017 No comments

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 70:

I do a lot of dating site dating. It’s just as much of a clusterfuck as you can imagine. It’s like people on dating sites think other dating site users are just sex dolls waiting around to pleasure them. And the dick pics! Ohhh the dick pics. Don’t these boys know that if we want to look at their dicks, we’ll ask? Anyway…this is how I found BDSM. One of the profiles I was looking at mentioned it, and I googled it, and now I’m really intrigued. But I don’t know what, exactly, I’m intrigued by. Like, do I want to be a domme or a sub? Do I want to be spanked or do the spanking? I DON’T KNOW!!! So that’s my question. How do I know?

The simple answer is trial and error. Read more…

NS(K)Q: Q69 – Disappearing Mistress

January 16th, 2017 No comments

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 69:

Recently, my mistress and I went from d/s to m/s. I’ve never been a slave before, but I thought I’d give it a shot. Problem is, now that I’m a “slave,” she just up and disappears for weeks without giving me any indication of where she’s going, or how long she’ll be gone. Or she’ll tell me she’s going to the store, and show back up at my house three days later. She doesn’t call, or take/return my calls while she’s gone. Is this normal? Because I don’t know if I can be a slave if this is normal.

No, this is not normal.

Being the M in a M/s relationship does not absolve a body of responsibility to the s in the relationship.

Imma say it again for the people in the back.

Being the M in a M/s relationship does not absolve a body of responsibility to the s in the relationship. Read more…

NS(K)Q: Q68 – Passionate Disagreements

January 9th, 2017 No comments

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 68:

So the other day, my owner and I had a huge fight. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it’s painful. This time, I can’t bring myself to back down. Something happened outside of our relationship that caused some issues for me, and I wanted to stand up for myself, but he wouldn’t let me. I’m angry, and hurt, and I feel like he doesn’t care about what happens to me. How do you handle things like this? Am I overreacting?

That’s rough. I’m sorry you’re having a hard time, right now.

Without knowing the whole situation, I can’t really say whether or not you’re overreacting. I mean, if the something that happened is something small, like someone accidentally stepped on your toe and didn’t cause any damage, then yeah…you’re overreacting a little bit. But if it’s something big, like being disrespected, or discriminated against, or abused in some way, then I feel like you’re not overreacting at all. Read more…

#SunnySunday Rope and 17 Minutes

January 8th, 2017 No comments

M wasn’t feeling well yesterday, so he took a long bath. While he was in the tub, I set my timer, put Halestorm on shuffle, and got on the elliptical.

When my fifteen minutes were up, my feet were sore, but not like they usually are, so I decided to go to the end of the song. Ended up putting me at 17 minutes. Probably a little over, because the song was three minutes and 37 seconds long, and it came on at about 14 minutes. So tomorrow the timer gets set to 17 minutes. Maybe I’ll make this goal after all.

When M got out of the bath, he ordered me into the shower, and told me to put on some makeup when I got out.

This makeup thing is really weird, but I’m having fun. He’s never cared if I wore makeup before. Red lipstick and nail polish now and again, but that’s it. Now that I have a bunch of makeup, thanks to a friend who sent me a giant box of makeup around Christmas, it’s, like, a thing.

“Go put on some makeup so I can ruin it.”

I know this is a known fetish, as fetishes go, it’s just not one he’s really expressed before.

I know wearing makeup is considered “looking one’s best” in some circles, but I don’t really buy into that. Never really have. Plus, I don’t feel like I look my best when I’m wearing makeup. Not all the time, anyway. Sometimes it looks downright awful.

Turns out, that’s because I have no idea how to put it on. Imagine that.

ANYway…rope!

He’s ALSO been tying me up more. This is not really a thing he’s ever done much of. Mostly, it’s been leather (or Vondage, as the case may be) bondage. Cuffs and locks.

I really like rope. Really, really. Like, a lot. Is making me soooo happy. =D

When you open a gift from a friend and know instantly that they get you.

A photo posted by Rayne Millaray (@rayne_millaray) on

NS(K)Q: Q66 – Embarrassed By Masturbation

May 6th, 2016 No comments

NoStupidKinkQuestionsGandhi said that if you want to change the world, you have to be the change you want to see. To that end, Insatiable Desire brings you No Stupid (Kink) Questions, a series of questions asked by novice kinksters around the web. If you have a question for us, leave it in comments, or send it to rayne (at) insatiabledesire (dot) com with “NS(K)Q” in the subject.

Question 66:

I like to masturbate as much as the next girl, but I’ve never really been one to masturbate in front of people. It’s never been an issue until I entered into my current relationship. I love my mistress, but she’s really into watching me masturbate and I’m really uncomfortable with the whole thing. I get really embarrassed and sometimes I cry. I never cum. It’s really disheartening. I want to be able to share everything with her. How do I get past this masturbation shyness?

This is actually something that’s really close to my heart. I have never been 100% comfortable masturbating in front of people. And since I generally don’t get off from penetration alone, that means I have to either sneak off to the bathroom for a wank, or masturbate in front of my partner. And since I’m not allowed to sneak off for a wank anymore, I’ve had to learn to get over it.

For my part, I spend a lot of time reminding myself that masturbation isn’t bad. Society’s belief that women should masturbate is stupid. All creatures masturbate. Masturbation is beautiful. Read more…

Kinktionary: Edging

May 6th, 2016 No comments

Edging is a generally considered to be a masturbation technique used by men to achieve the “ultimate orgasm.” To edge, a man will bring himself close to orgasm, then deny himself over and over again, before finally allowing himself release. This is said to result in a much better orgasm than if a man were to climax the first time he feels able.

Men do not actually corner the market on edging, and edging is not only used during masturbation.

In BDSM, edging is a method of controlling a submissive by driving them into sexual frustration. The top will bring the bottom to the brink of orgasm through intercourse or manual stimulation (with or without a sex toy), then deny the bottom climax.

Some people believe that this form of sexual control increases a bottom’s submissive nature, and it makes sense. Exerting control over a bottom’s orgasm can cause the bottom to exhibit behaviors they know will please the top in order to receive the reward of getting off.

Got a suggestion for our Kinktionary? Leave it in comments or email it to rayne@insatiabledesire.com with “Kinktionary” in the subject!